depressed.. yes.. about what?? donno
why?? lets just say the homecoming wasnt as i thought it would be.. the first touch the first kiss.. all rather tame in comparison to all that i had dreamt of in the loong days of being alone.. u know how it is right.. u build up something soooo much in your imagination that the real thing seems pale..
why is it that the songs go on and on about a happily ever after...?? telling tales of how even after years and years.. the lovers fall right into each other's arms and proceed to be happy for the rest of their lives...
what no one mentions is how things change.. how everything changes so much that you dont know what to do or say or think...
when your perfect life seems suddenly to have collapsed like a pack of cards and you dont know how to put it back together.. when the new creation is not what u had built in the first place.. and you dont know if this will stand either..
when nothing seems to comfort you anymore... except solitude..
i once sat atop a high cliff wanting to jump away from my solitude.. now the silence comforts me somehow.. being in my own head doesnt feel like i'm trapped..
talking to myself isnt quite as bad as it used to be...
dare i say.. this too shall pass???
i loved this book once.. for the hope, the surety of love that it portrayed... "A Bridge across forever" .. no matter how circumstances change.. "the one" for you will always be there...
why are there so many lies in this world??? why does nothing remain sacred and true??
why does hope get crushed again and again till you begin to wonder if there was any point in having dreams at all...
Love stories and love songs.. "endless love"...
what the fuck is forever anyway???????
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