Showing posts with label obsessions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label obsessions. Show all posts

Sunday, September 20, 2015

the staircase

maybe i got too high a dosage of Disney as a kid.. or something..
because the idea of having a bedroom with a spiral staircase that opens out onto a terrace which is essentially the highest accessible point of a tower makes me feel ludicrously excited... 
One of the biggest perks of parents having a government job is that they get government accommodation.. and the house dad has been offered now is a monstrosity built 80 years ago which is need of a few serious repairs.. but it has a bedroom/spare room whatchamacallit room on the first floor that is accessed through the terrace, that also has an internal staircase which takes you to yet another higher floor, with a small sheltered terrace that makes you feel like you're on top of the world looking regally down at all the gorgeous verdant green of the lawns... with the bright blue sky open above... its like something out of a dream.. and i know for a fact that there is no way in hell i will ever be able to find a room like that anywhere in Delhi and even if such a room exists and may be available for rent, they would charge the sun and moon for it because it is BY FAR the most beautiful thing i have ever seen.. even though its currently covered in cobwebs and maybe termites.. and i have to get a safety check done on that spiral staircase because that place hasn't bee lived in for years and years..

but i can just picture the pretty lights i'll wind around the banisters and the bookshelves and photographs that will go on the walls and the cushions I will put to create a reading nook right where the landing of the staircase opens onto the terrace...

if we actually move into that gorgeous house and the said gorgeous house doesn't fall down around our head.. it is an OOOOLD house after all... 

but GOD the staircase makes me feel like a little kid watching a princess movie... maybe i'll wear a pretty gown and walk down that staircase randomly one day... just to be able to say that i did it... 

my dad, who has been trying all my life to stamp the fairy princess ideas out of my head, has however pointed out that the pretty room doesn't have a window big enough to put a cooler or AC in, and being as clumsy as i am, a spiral staircase isn't exactly the safest thing for me to be mucking about with... to him i say.. bah humbug.. 

Sunday, October 12, 2014

Patriarchy, DDLJ and disappointing brothers...

my brothers have seriously disappointed me.. not the brats, the remaining horde of cousins/best friends that I have, have seriously dashed all my DDLJ fed ideas of how Karva Chauth is supposed to be…
yes I know that is a very very bad line to use if I want to sound like an adult at all and not like a starry eyed tween… but I DID expect better from my big brothers.. I swear I did.. first of all, I will never in my life understand how fasting prolongs someone else’s life.. this is the 21st century ladies and gentlemen.. WHY are we still following the patriarchal model where the woman has to “sacrifice for the happiness of the family” and somehow starving the poor soul would bring salvation to the family…
secondly.. if you HAVE to believe that this deity with no sense demands fasts in exchange for years on earth, why aren’t the husbands fasting for their wives’ lives? why shouldn’t the husband “show his love and devotion” to the marriage just like the poor starving wife?
in any case.. if we have to go along with this loony idea that the husband’s life has to come at the cost of his wife’s health and sanity, WHY the effing hell is it not reciprocal? specially when the scriptures go on and on about being an “ardhangini” and the married couple being the basis of all life and society??
and (read this as being said in an irate voice with a stomped foot) why did no one out of the dozens of the newly and not so newly married couples of my generation put their foot down and DO something?
sure the previous gen has waaayyyy too many married couples for me to have harboured any remaining hope, but they are all old people, in arranged marriages where ‘the family’ scuttled all attempts at overt mush.. atleast in front of the children..
 but this lot?? my generation! they ALL have married for love and stay far enough away that the entire gamut of aunts and aunts in law and grandmothers and mothers does not descend on them to make them do whatever arcane ritual the lunar cycle demands.. and yet… Karva Chauth remains as boring and old people-ey as ever for my assorted brothers and bhabis…
whatever happened to the “don’t bother babe, religion is stupid, keeping yourself hungry is not prolonging my life”.. or “okay since it’s a required married people ritual, I’m fasting with you (Thanks SRK for that one) or at the very least “ since you’re stuck doing this, let me get up at the crack of dawn and cook you something nice and shower you with presents”…
ANYTHING??? hello?? guys??
Do you HAVE to be all boringly unromantic to my bhabis and be all “what are you getting worked up about” at me??
Go watch DDLJ again … all of you.. if I’m not allowed to question the cultural imperative and must accept that the fast must be kept, I’m gonna continue to be SO disappointed at the lack of reciprocal fasts and dancing and presents and unapologetically unromantic behavior in general... Shahrukh Khan.. you have some serious explaining to do.
hmph…


Thursday, April 25, 2013

harder to breathe

Songs change their meanings as times change........


"Harder To Breathe" Maroon 5

How dare you say that my behavior is unacceptable
So condescending unnecessarily critical
I have the tendency of getting very physical
So watch your step 'cause if I do you'll need a miracle

You drain me dry and make me wonder why I'm even here
This Double Vision I was seeing is finally clear
You want to stay but you know very well I want you gone
Not fit to fuckin' tread the ground that I'm walking on

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

What you are doing is screwing things up inside my head
You should know better you never listened to a word I said
Clutching your pillow and writhing in a naked sweat
Hoping somebody someday will do you like I did

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

Does it kill
Does it burn
Is it painful to learn
That it's me that has all the control

Does it thrill
Does it sting
When you feel what I bring
And you wish that you had me to hold

When it gets cold outside and you got nobody to love
You'll understand what I mean when I say
There's no way we're gonna give up
And like a little girl cries in the face of a monster that lives in her dreams
Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe
Is there anyone out there 'cause it's getting harder and harder to breathe

Monday, March 26, 2012

yes i'm addicted to mills & boon but Titanic spoiled me for all other romances :)

The feeling that you can dance and be happy and just completely leave who you were and who you had to be just because you had someone to indulge that madness in you...
The feeling of utter freedom as you stand at the edge, with a person you trust right beside you...
The feeling of absolute sensuousness when you lie back and have THAT person just look at you with absolute fascination in their eyes....
the feeling of hope, when you're almost dying and someone tells you to hold on for them....
the feeling of strength when you have someone stand beside you and tell you that you can escape the shackles that bind you......
the feeling of wonder at the panorama of life that opens up in front of you, because you finally opened your eyes to look.......

and not to mention the gorgeousness of the blue eyes and golden hair that was Leonardo Di Caprio all those years ago...

TITANIC IS RE-RELEASING PEOPLE!!! and i'm in LUUURRRRRVE again!!


Thursday, October 06, 2011

lost. found. lost



I see you
that mirage
the passing shadow whose source I cannot find

I know you
know not from where
 but every beat of my heart recognizes your footsteps

I can feel you
the whisper in the wind,
the tentative touch that I can’t ignore

I can hear you
in songs, stories, dreams, all my life, but have I ever even met you?

I wait
for the day I catch up to the rushing mirage
for the day the breath of a whisper turns to words
for the day I find you
and myself 
again

Monday, May 23, 2011

a walk to remember

i adore this movie.
absolutely, completely.

and yes i know its a teenage version of a mills and boon with a preachy ending. thank you very much. i adore it anyway..
the story, the magic of finding who you really are and what you really want from life..

not least for the amazing soundtrack. its got sooo many from my favorite songs list.. :



 learning to breathe.. switchfoot






its gonna be love



something about you...



dancing in the moonlight..







only hope .



cry- mandy moore



you- switchfoot



and the one song that i can listen to no matter what mood i'm in..
dare you to move..... switchfoot




this is probably the ONLY movie whose entire soundtrack i remember... including all the hindi movies i love to watch... i was asked a while ago if there was any band/soundtrack that i really loved... i can't believe i didnt remember this one right away... i watched this movie again today.. purely for the music, and realised that this right here was a soundtrack i'll still adore when i'm 80...

Saturday, May 21, 2011

Jenny kissed me

so this was a poem we learnt in class 5 i think.. or maybe 6th... i remember this huge argument in class with Indu Yadav ma'am, our english teacher about whether Jenny was a cat or a woman.. compounded by the fact that our english book did not carry the poet's full name but carried it as Leigh Hunt, which to us sounded like a girl's name, and added to our confusion about what exactly  'jenny' here was..
 and i loved this random sounding verse so much that i set it to a tune.. and proceeded to sing it for days together.. i have no idea why i suddenly thought of it now after so many years.. but suddenly the tune popped into my head and i HAD to look it up and post it..

Jenny Kissed me. - James Henry Leigh Hunt.
(here's what i found about it on the Wondering Minstrels blog)


Jenny kissed me when we met,

Jumping from the chair she sat in;

Time, you thief, who love to get

Sweets into your list, put that in!

Say I'm weary, say I'm sad,

Say that health and wealth have missed me,

Say I'm growing old, but add,

Jenny kissed me.




ah silly childhood memories :)




Friday, December 24, 2010

broken wings

It is for you my love, its all for you..

the blood of my soul
 That spreads from me to you
The pieces of my heart scattered around the courtyard
As I lie dying crushed beneath your love
Its all for you.. only for you…
…………..
It just came to me
Like the remnants of a dream
As I lazed in that half aleep, not quite awake state
Just what is not no matter how much I may want it to be
A brush, dusted off and starting with a clean slate…

Saturday, October 16, 2010

“Just because you haven’t seen her yet doesn’t mean she isn’t out there... the one you’re meant to be with...”

“I never see anyone but you bella, even when i close my eyes n try to see someone else.. I only see you...”

Monday, October 11, 2010

bin tere.. I hate luv stories...

Hai kya yeh jo tere mere darmiyaan hai
Andekhi ansuni koi dastaan hai
Hai kya yeh jo tere mere darmiyaan hai
Andekhi ansuni koi dastaan hai
Lagne lagi, ab zindagi khaali
Hai meri
Lagne lagi har saans bhi khaali (lost and lonely)
Bin tere, bin tere, bin tere (lost and lonely)
Koi khalish hai hawayon mein bin tere (lost and lonely)
Bin tere, bin tere, bin tere (lost and lonely)
Koi khalish hai hawayon mein bin tere (lost and lonely)
Ajnabi se huye kyun pal saare
Yeh nazar se nazar yeh milaate hi nahin
Ik gani dehaayi cha gayi hai
Manzilein raaston mein hi gum hone lagi
Ho gayi ansuni har dua ab meri
Reh gayi ankahi bin tere (lost and lonely)
Bin tere, bin tere, bin tere (lost and lonely)
Koi khalish hai hawayon mein bin tere (lost and lonely)
Bin tere, bin tere, bin tere (lost and lonely)
Koi khalish hai hawayon mein bin tere (lost and lonely)
Raah mein roshni ni hai kyun haath choda
Iss taraf shaam ne kyun hai apna muh moda
Yun ke har subah ik bereham si baat ban gayi
Hai kya yeh jo tere mere darmiyaan hai
Andekhi ansuni koi dastaan hai
Lagne lagi, ab zindagi khaali khaali
Lagne lagi har saans bhi khaali (lost and lonely)
Bin tere, bin tere, bin tere (lost and lonely)
Koi khalish hai hawayon mein bin tere (lost and lonely)
Bin tere, bin tere, bin tere (lost and lonely)
Koi khalish hai hawayon mein bin tere (lost and lonely)
Bin tere, bin tere, bin tere (lost and lonely)
Koi khalish hai hawayon mein bin tere ..


Monday, December 14, 2009

welllll... this one's a bit shallow...

just saw new moon at plaza... it was quite an experience.. a hallful of women hooting at edward and jacob.... robert pattinson and taylor lautner actualy.. they're HOT!!!!! it was catcalls, screams and drool enough to drown the whole place.. they're stunning...

and then we got into this conversation about how if someone had a good body they'd look good even with a not so good looking face... coz noorie thinks that taylor lautner doesnt have such a goodlooking face.. I on the other hand think that robert pattinson is downright weird looking from most angles.. though i'd have to concede that he has the face of an angel if seen full face.. he looks weird at angles and in profile.. though taylor is WOW from every angle...

well.. the point is.. a question...
would someone look good if they had a not so good looking face and an amazing body??? or does the whole package count??????

maybe i'm biased towards taylor.. he's Jacob.. he's pretty much EXACTLY how i pictured jake.. and i ADORE jacob.. he's like the ideal guy... but would anyone else agree with my opinion???

my opinion.... its not just the face.. its teh whole thing.. the face, teh body (and OMG what a body ;) ) AND the person... teh reason i love jake n not edward is coz he's a real friend.. he's a supernatural being and yet he's not afraid to show his weakness... and he's always there for bella.. he doesnt try to control her or push her teh way edward does.. he accepts HER and is brave enough to put his own self on teh line.. unlike edward who just tries to 'protect' bella instead of letting her be herself...
 i remember this sentence from Eclipse... jacob asks bella if she wanted to have fun with him... and then he says.. "let me guess. youre not allowed to have fun are you?"

but... i digress...
so... coming back to teh point..

who'se better looking???? Jacob or Edward????
or to give the boys some credit... Taylor Lautner or Robert Pattinson???

Thursday, September 17, 2009

the law of attraction

YES i truly am this vella and YES i CAN get this obsessed with a project... so what started as a joke with friends to draft the legislative provsions of the law of attraction is now a full fledged, 5 page work tht i've spent most of today on.. and YES OFCOURSE i want comments!!! from people who have studied law and those who havent, from those who have had crushes and those who havent PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE comment on this post.
FYI.. YES I REALLY WROTE ALL OF THIS BY MYSELF.. and NO you are NOT allowed to make fun of it coz its all true.
P.s. the idea of this legislation came from the SPIL form that i have as yet NOT filled.. n deadline's tomorrow..
THE HUMAN ATTRACTION (INITIAL PREFERENCE) ACT 2009
(987654321 of 2009)
(17th September 2009)
PREAMBLE Where it is expedient to amend and codify the law relating to preliminary attraction among humans.
BE IT ENACTED by the senses of human society in the year 2009 AD of human existence as follows

PRELIMINARY

1. Short title, extent and commencement. - (1) this act may be called the Human Attraction (Initial Preference) Act, 2009.
(2) It extends to the whole of humanity including those existing the territory of storybook romance.
Explanation: This act only applies to mental phenomena of attraction amongst humans. Actual formation of the relationship whether physical, emotional or social do not come under the purview of this act but are regulated by various other legislations including the Societal Rules and Etiquettes Act and the Parental Authorities acts.
2. Application of Act. – (1)This act applies to any human being
(a) who has attained the age of puberty; or
(b) any person, male or female who is mentally capable of forming infatuatory relationship with another person.
( c) who is not suffering from mental unsoundness produced by the phenomena commonly known as “Cupid’s Arrow.”
3. Definitions.- In this act, unless the context otherwise requires,-
(a) “the person” refers to the infatuor or subject i.e. the male or female who forms such infatuation as defined by the Act;
(b) ‘the male’, or ‘the female’ unless otherwise specified refer to the infatuee or object of such infatuation;
(c) ‘Parental Authority’ or ‘societal authority’ refers to the progenitors of the subject or object of infatuation and the social group that the parental authorities belong to respectively;
(d) ‘intellectual capacity’ implies the capacity of ‘the male’ or ‘the female’ to learn and make judgments. It also includes capacity to conduct rational and/or humorous conversation. ‘mental capacity’ refers to the ability of the object to understand that it would be prudent to give the subject a position of authority.
(e) ‘relationship’ under the purview of the act refers to a future sexual and/or emotional relationship.
Saving: The object of the infatuation may be of the same or the opposite sex to the infatuor. The terms ‘the male’ and ‘the female’ are used as general terms for legislative convenience.
4. Overriding effect of the Act.- Save as expressly provided in the Act any theory or rule of attraction propounded in movies, romance novels self help books or psychology manuals shall cease to have effect with respect to any matter for which provision is made in the Act.

PART I
GENERAL PROVISIONS
CHAPTER I
OF FEMALE INFATUATION

This chapter applies solely to the female part of the human species. The rules pertaining to male humans shall be dealt with in chapter II of the Act.

5. Definitions:
(1)‘the female’ in the following sections refers to the specific infatuor or subject of the infatuation as discussed herein.
(2)’other female’ under these sections refers to any other female that ‘the male’ finds or may find attractive.

6. Specific attributes: the female may find a male of the same species attractive if the said male possesses acceptable physical attributes, and/or is economically sound and/or is intellectually and mentally eligible.

7.Physical attributes defined: physical features that signify excellent capability to copulate defined by attributes such as height/weight ratio and/or musculature.
(1) in particular and without prejudice to the aforementioned conditions, dark complexion, height and conformity to accepted idea of good facial and bodily features is an essential criteria in situations where the intellectual and economic aptitude of the male is unknown.
(2) personal grooming, including clothing, hygiene and hairstyle of the male must conform to the standards set by the female.
Saving: in case the object of the infatuation is a female, section 7(1) stands voided.

8. Economic attributes defined: in situations where assessment of physical attributes is impractical or impossible due to absence of visual contact, parental interference or deemed unlawful by societal authority, the economic capabilities of the male shall overrule the provision of Section 7. The following economic criteria may then be applied-
(1) motor vehicle: the type and cost of motor vehicle driven by the male
(2) habitat: this includes the living space as well as profession of the male
(3) currency notes or negotiable instruments under the control of the male
Explanation: the mental capacity of male to accept the right of female to make use of the aforementioned items as and when required is necessary for the application of this section.

9. Intellectual attributes: the female may, in certain situations attribute attractiveness to the voice, mannerisms or intellectual capacity of the male
Explanation I: this provision may be applied in situations wherein the physical and/or economic attributes are equal to those of other males in the vicinity and selection must be based on factors of intellectual aptitude.
Explanation II: This provision may also be applied in situations where the male is not viewable by the female and contact between the two is by telephone, internet or letters.
SCOPE: this provision is applied in rare situations wherein the choice of the female is either extremely limited due to lack of eligible males or made difficult due to presence of more than the optimum number of eligible males.

10. Peer influence: the attractiveness of the object for the female may also be in certain cases proportional to the extent of approval and attraction exhibited by other competing females towards the male.
CHAPTER II
OF MALE INFATUATION

11. Definitions.- (a)‘the male’ in this chapter refers to the infatuor or person forming the infatuation;
(b) ‘the female’ in the chapter refers to the specific female of the species on whom the infatuation rests. If the object of the infatuation is a male member of the species, sections 7, 8 and 9 of the act may be applied.

12. general attributes:- a male may find a female attractive if such female possesses certain physical attributes. In specific situations, certain economic or intellectual attributes may also be applicable.

13. Physical attributes defined:- a male may find a female attractive if she possesses physical attributes capable of stimulation of the male libido as defined by the Fashion Police Act.
(1) the female may possess a body type defined under the Fashion Police Act as the ‘hourglass figure” or approximate proportion; or
(2) possession of features defined as “pouty lips”, or enhanced mammary or gluteous tissue; or
(3) proportion of amount of clothing worn by the female to the skin of said female is 1/3 or greater; or
(4) the clothing worn by the female accentuates the shape or size of the mammary or gluteus tissue.
Saving: the personal grooming exhibited by the female in form of clothing choice, makeup and accessories are also part of the required physical attributes though not an essential requirement.

14. mental capacity defined.- in case the physical attributes of the female are unknown due to restrictions imposed by parental or societal authorities the mental capacity of the female, as defined under the general provisions of the act may be applicable.
15. economic attributes defined.- the economic capacity of the female and/ or her parental authority to provide the requirements listed under the subsections of section 8 are applicable in situations where the requirements of section 13 are not met.


PART II
COMPOSITION OF ARBITRAL TRIBUNAL
CHAPTER III

16. WHEN DETERMINATION OF ELIGIBILITY DEPENDS ON THE OPINION OF OUTSIDE PARTY: in cases wherein the infatuor is unable to find eligible object or must decide to take action with respect to the infatuation, authorization of such action may be done by
(1)peer group: friends of the infatuor may act as authorities to decide the question of eligibility. The number of friends who may be appointed as arbitrators may be determined by the infatuor.
(2) parental authority: parental authority may enforce special right of adjudication with respect to the choices of the infatuor under the overriding provisions of the Parental Authority Act.
Explanation: this section can only be applicable when the infatuatuor is intent upon making contact with the infatuee. The simple mental state of attraction does not come under the provision of this section.


CHAPTER IV
OF VOIDABILITY OF ATTRACTION AND PUNISHMENTS

17. Voidability of attraction.- if the subject of the attraction does not form similar infatuation with eth male or female, it would be incumbent on the infatuor to withdraw such infatuation. The attraction is voidable in cases where acceptance of infatuation is delayed or denied.

18. Punishment for continuation of attraction declared void.- once the infatuee has denied the attraction continuation of the feelings of attraction may entail mental and physical anguish.
(1) the male or female may have to undergo bouts of tears or emotional pain; or
(2) if the object of attraction is already bonded with a different male or female, physical or verbal attacks on the person of the infatuee may be made.

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

another mention of my 'twilight' obsession

i have a habit of visualising the charecters of any book i read.. specially teh ones i'm really really fond of (read obsessed about)
so naturally... like just about every other girl who entertained fantasies bout the 'perfect' vampire boyfriend. i visualised Edward Cullen... (*swoon*)

except that the guy who actualy played him in the movie is SO not like my fantasy edward... so i was like.. blehhh
BUT
today.. while indulging yet another sudden obsession.. i stumbled on THE guy who could play edward in my head... the actor/model who plays romeo in the Taylor Swift song 'love story'.. the title of the post is a link to the youtube video of the song...

btw... the "sudden obsession' aforementioned is this song... love story- Taylor Swift... heard it on the radio this morning and promptly fell in love with it.. its soooo sweet... its like a teenager's take on romeo and juliet.. the video showed me my dream edward.. the song itself gave me a whole morning of singing and skipping.... coz by some grace of god a friend had the song on her cell n happily gave it to me via bluetooth.. (i LOVE my phone!)

i've lost count of how many times ive heard it over n over n over again today...
so.. all in all.. a good day.. two obsessions taken care of... :)