He walks.. I watch

I watched him walk towards me today

Feet splayed

Arms akimbo

Balancing carefully on the bricks of the lane leading home

Slow but sure

Not needing a hand to hold him steady

Watching each brick under his feet

And then watching me watch him walk

The slight frown on my face as I watch each careful shuffling step

The stubborn look in his eyes that says

I don’t need a mommy to hold my hand as I walk

Looking up and to the side as a bird flips past

As I wait

Hoping that the uneven bricks and the slush left behind by the rain doesn’t trip him up

Making sure that he sees the little bit of mud right outside the door

so he doesn’t get his shoes muddy

I watch,

worried but proud

Much as he must have watched me take my first steps as a toddler

My grandpa

The 95 year old who still won’t carry a stick

you can cry all you want but you won't ever get back what's gone...

It hasn’t been “home” since amma died four years ago... But now the old flat my grandmother bought, where i grew up, has been sold and is being packed up.. My aunts and mother arguing over who gets what furniture and keepsakes and measuring what furniture will fit where in our own separate homes..

Last night my grandmother’s children gathered in her house for the last time to sign all documents and hand over the house to the buyer.. Chacha chachi and the kids shift out within this week... And i skipped out of going there because i was too tired and not in the mood to change into clothes suitable to go outside in....

As the eldest, I’ve spent the most time in that house... Have spent years running from room to room.. Had a new bed made for me to fit in the corner of amma’s room when i got too big to sleep in the same bed as my grandparents, had the balcony covered to make a “Separate room” for me.. Which i never slept in ultimately but became my study room... So many times when i got tired of the silence that pervades the house we live in now.. I would go there to see amma and babaji and feel like i’m actually “home”... 

I can’t remember the last time i was there.. Isn’t that strange...? I used to find the smallest excuse to go there, even if to just grab a bite and get a hug from amma when i had to to go Karkardooma court and could take a half hour out to go home...

All the friends and extended ‘family’ i had as a child growing up in that society.. 

Saying I’m leaving home and taking my minnie mouse blackboard over to Taiji’s house so i could “stay” in her daughter’s room.. Jiji’s kids are now years older than i Was when i pulled that stunt... It has been more than 20 years since it happened... Taiji left us weeks after Amma did.. A double blow that took my “home” from me.. Leaving no one there whose lap i’ve cuddled into as a child and as an adult... I think i stopped visiting after the two died.. I consciously stopped going even when Mom and dad visited chacha chachi.. It didn’t feel like “my house” any longer.. It was theirs now.. The room where i grew up listening to stories from amma wasn’t amma’s room any longer.. It was my sister’s bedroom.. Amma’s saris and babaji’s whiskey bottles didn’t stay there any longer.. I didn’t have the right to go and curl up in that bed or rifle through those almirahs looking for new pens and hidden treasures... 

Running up and down the stairs to see how fast i could climb up to the 7th floor and back.. The ‘nani’ who had given that dare to me is long dead... I was maybe 10 or 11 when i did it... Run up to your house and come back with 5 rupees in less than 1 minute and you can get two chocolates instead of just one... I don’t think even she expected me to actually clilmb six floors, wheedle money out of babaji and be back in less than 60 seconds... Have distinct memories of jumping down five or six stairs with my hand on teh banister while running pell mell to beat the deadline.. I have no idea what I would do if i ever caught a kid doing that.. 

The park where i learnt as a 12 year old to hit headers on a football... Stupidly while having a plastic hairband on which felt like it would go through my skull when the football hit it.. The open green area where we played football and cricket has been a parking lot for nearly 10 years now... It stopped being a free space for children even before i left my teens... The roof where we played hide and seek.. And talked late into the evening.. Had dance practices and “dates”.. Where cousin once threatened to enact the “suiciiiide” scene from Sholay because the boys got into a horrible fight and the entire group of friends took sides...

Amma is long gone.. And now the house is gone too.. 

I’m sitting in my bed writing about my lost childhood.. Tears in my eyes.. They will shift out by the 25th... I’m leaving on holiday tomorrow morning.. There is still today for me to go there and reminisce and cry.. But i KNOW i wont go there today... Even though my heart feels heavy and my stomach eels hollow and every stupid thing i did growing up is running through my head and telling me to go see that house one last time.. I won’t go see the house.. My home is no longer there.. It’s being stripped and packed away and i don’t want to see that..

My parents came home at 2 am last night.. With cardboard boxes full of pretty dinner sets and a bone china tea set that has remained displayed on the top shelf of the side board in the dining room since Mom bought it when i was four.. Amma always used to say that she would take out that tea set and serve tea only when some “ladke walle” came to the house to see me... 24 years after that tea set came to my home.. It is now packed into a cardboard box to be stored away in a different glass cabinet.. Amma is long gone.. My family is split into three separate families that don't have a common "home" any longer....

I’m gonna convince mom to let me drink tea in those china cups tonight... And maybe cry a little more...

Patriarchy, DDLJ and disappointing brothers...

my brothers have seriously disappointed me.. not the brats, the remaining horde of cousins/best friends that I have, have seriously dashed all my DDLJ fed ideas of how Karva Chauth is supposed to be…

yes I know that is a very very bad line to use if I want to sound like an adult at all and not like a starry eyed tween… but I DID expect better from my big brothers.. I swear I did.. first of all, I will never in my life understand how fasting prolongs someone else’s life.. this is the 21^st century ladies and gentlemen.. WHY are we still following the patriarchal model where the woman has to “sacrifice for the happiness of the family” and somehow starving the poor soul would bring salvation to the family…

secondly.. if you HAVE to believe that this deity with no sense demands fasts in exchange for years on earth, why aren’t the husbands fasting for their wives’ lives? why shouldn’t the husband “show his love and devotion” to the marriage just like the poor starving wife?

in any case.. if we have to go along with this loony idea that the husband’s life has to come at the cost of his wife’s health and sanity, WHY the effing hell is it not reciprocal? specially when the scriptures go on and on about being an “ardhangini” and the married couple being the basis of all life and society??

and (read this as being said in an irate voice with a stomped foot) why did no one out of the dozens of the newly and not so newly married couples of my generation put their foot down and DO something?

sure the previous gen has waaayyyy too many married couples for me to have harboured any remaining hope, but they are all old people, in arranged marriages where ‘the family’ scuttled all attempts at overt mush.. atleast in front of the children..

 but this lot?? my generation! they ALL have married for love and stay far enough away that the entire gamut of aunts and aunts in law and grandmothers and mothers does not descend on them to make them do whatever arcane ritual the lunar cycle demands.. and yet… Karva Chauth remains as boring and old people-ey as ever for my assorted brothers and bhabis…

whatever happened to the “don’t bother babe, religion is stupid, keeping yourself hungry is not prolonging my life”.. or “okay since it’s a required married people ritual, I’m fasting with you (Thanks SRK for that one) or at the very least “ since you’re stuck doing this, let me get up at the crack of dawn and cook you something nice and shower you with presents”…

ANYTHING??? hello?? guys??

Do you HAVE to be all boringly unromantic to my bhabis and be all “what are you getting worked up about” at me??

Go watch DDLJ again … all of you.. if I’m not allowed to question the cultural imperative and must accept that the fast must be kept, I’m gonna continue to be SO disappointed at the lack of reciprocal fasts and dancing and presents and unapologetically unromantic behavior in general... Shahrukh Khan.. you have some serious explaining to do.

hmph…

"If you leave who will prove that my cry existed?/ Tell me what was I like before I existed.

yes i am selfish and spoilt.. i am, really... because while the world is talking about crimes against women and people are working their asses off all over the city, i'm wrapped up in a little bubble of mourning and memories...

in the past one month, i've lost three people who spent nearly my entire childhood pampering me, who were there in the background and foreground, often scolding my parents for scolding me, or hiding me when i wanted to escape the world... my grandmom, almost-surrogate- grandmom, and my Taiji- surrogate mom.
between the three of them, they can string together every step of my life from when i started talking to now when i stepped away and only returned to them when i needed a break from life.. even at age 24, i would cuddle up to taiji and ask amma to tell me the same stories that she's been entertaining me with since childhood.. i would visit damma and have her smile at me like i've made her day...
they were the people who all the news about life HAD to go to... they were the people who would scold me for working too much and eating too little and not having enough time to just be their little girl again...
They are the ones who remember little milestones and bumps from my childhood. stories like what i did with some long forgotten toy and the tantrum i threw about a shoe or the way i had to cajoled into eating something..
They knew my childhood, they knew the brat before i became I with an identity and a belief system.. they were the ones whose stories and admonitions and love and PRESENCE helped shape  me into who i am now.. my parents both worked, and they were there all day with me..

and now the witnesses to my childhood are gone...
Amma passed away on December 3, Damma on 15th, and Taiji on january 4...
i like to think that all three of them are now sitting in a sunny balcony up in heaven, drinking cupfuls of tea and  chatting about things just like they used to when i was a child running around with ati and akku....

amma

to the woman who was the nest that everyone flew back to, as much as we flew away..
the fighter who embraced only the 'practical' traditions and fought against the world to study, work and live with dignity before 'feminist' became a fashionable word.
the disciplinarian who got our huge scattered family to behave themselves for years
the one who was always there.. even when you didn't particularly want anyone to be..
the reason why i, who haven't stepped foot in the puja room in years still remember her favorite bhajans and stories
the reason why i love reading mythology and even more the alternative interpretations of mythology
the one who always squabbled over everything with me, and yet took my side when i fought with anyone else

to amma..
I hope you heard the tales and the songs and the laughter that was around you.. everyone came home and sat and talked to you, just like you wanted every weekend.. it was loud and rambling and there were scattered conversations and side remarks and laughter and an argument or two... and everyone was here..
and we all hoped that you heard us in the hours before you decided to not wake up...
i love you

o nadan parinde ghar a ja...

Raghav turned 11 today.. my baby brother, the one reason i learnt to play mommy to everyone and revel in it coz his smile lit up my world.. i was too young when the brats were born to make any contribution to their younger years... but with almost 14 years between me and this little thing that my chachi brought home, i played nanny and surrogate mum whenever she had to take a break/nap/get work done.. and i would sit and rock him in my arms and sing him to sleep and tell him all my hopes and dreams and fears and thoughts, he was just a baby, but i felt like if he cooed or nodded or flailed around it was in answer to whatever it was that i was rambling at him about... Anu n the brats got rather mad at that .. to them i was the strict big sister who would play disciplinarian and shoo them around... Raghav on the other hand has perennially been the baby who must be coddled..
today is his 11th birthday.. we were all supposed to get together and have fun and have a bithhday party..
but there were no celebrations at home coz amma was hospitalised this morning... and instead of coddling the baby we've all spent his entire life coddling, we were all too busy worrying whether our grandmom would come home from the hospital... i barely even wished him.. aand now i'm wondering how he must have felt all day.. with teh entire extended family milling around teh house, but no one paying him the special attention he's come to expect.. he was so much quieter than he normally is.. even ate and bathed and helped with everything around the house without needing to be fussed at... my baby's all grown up i guess..

and the brats will turn 17 in just a few short days.. where did all that time go???

how does one say "i love you"?

there are days when i have words and emotions pouring out of every breath i take, there are days when i am just so numb that i can't feel anything around me
there are days when the slightest breeze makes me gasp with joy, there are days when the clouds on the horizon seem to be there just to darken my day

and then there are days like yesterday when i get jolted out of my comfort zone and thrown in front of a mirror, to SEE just what i am and what i've done and not done
to notice the cracks and gasps and marks on what i thought was a slow peaceful boring disconnected life

what is family? what is love? how does one show how important someone is to you? is it only when you lose an illusion and realise that the people you take for granted are actually as fragile as glass and can be taken away from you in the space of a moment...
and yet i am silent.. coz i don't have any words to tell them how much they mean to me

Has anyone seen this show called 'PunarVivaah'?

Having grandparents at home guarantees that you will be exposed to those god-awful saas bahu sagas that run on TV all day.. I get fleeting glimpses of most of them since I tend to drift in and out of the living room at various points of the day..

Has anyone seen this show called ‘PunarVivaah” on Zee?? It started out as this progressive sounding show about a widower and a divorcee who get married to each other via an arranged marriage. It started out showing the heroine as this awesome independent woman who took care of her 4 year old son and her in-laws and took on the world with a hockey stick… and now the woman has been reduced to the caricature of the downtrodden Bahu in the home of her new husband, who incidentally is still so in love with his dead wife that they live in a room that is little more than a shrine to the dead girl.

lets recap the episode I saw today shall we…

• ·         The couple, plus their three Kids (one hers, two his) return from a holiday with the man in a towering temper for some unexplained reason.
• ·         The woman walks in crying, the man frowning, and the family is stunned and stares at them walking in
• ·         the man walks off somewhere, presumably work or whatever
• ·         the ENTIRE 20 member family, including elder brother and bhabi, Father and mother in law, little sister in law and aunt in law, alongwith the girl’s mother corral the girl in the drawing room and start asking her why their boy was so unhappy “when she had promised them she would make him happy.”
• ·         NO ONE of the gathered lot tries to comfort her in any manner whatsoever..
• ·         The mother in law gets into this whole “I will never trust you again coz you made my son unhappy” rant
• ·         meanwhile the poor heroine is literally on her knees on the floor in tears, begging them all to say that they trust her. She’s asking them all to listen to her, she’s begging them to understand that she hasn’t done anything to anger him or hurt him.
• ·         and then the MIL stalks off after giving her an earful.
• ·         and NO one questioned the man because he’s simply stalked off in anger.

what I don’t get is, does no one care about the fact that this woman is also desperately unhappy???? The in-laws treat her as some servant who is only there for their son’s sake. she can’t eat or wear or go anywhere as she pleases. She is no more than a nanny for the kids because that man refuses to accord her so much as the respect due to a wife. She is living in a room filled with pictures of another woman, who is remembered by the entire family as this paragon of perfection. She has to practically beg the family to even be allowed to live in the house. Her happiness of no import?

why is the man not asked a single question? why is it that the sole responsibility for the marriage working out on her??? why does NO ONE care that the injured party in the case is HER and not that man who simply shoved bags in a car and drove off?

and most importantly.. WHY the hell is the family interference limited to badmouthing her??? if they are so interested in scrutinizing their marriage, why do they not ever see that the man is doing nothing whatsoever to make his wife even feel comfortable and wanted?

why is it that TV shows simply reinforce these disgusting stereotypes? Why is it that the man can just do anything and the woman is so dependant on his approval for happiness that she has to grovel before the entire family to be allowed the right to live in her marital home? Why is it that the wife is blamed if the man is even slightly inconvenienced but no one raises an eyebrow at the fact that this man obviously wants nothing to do with her and is simply living in the past? She has gone through a hellish divorce, but no one has ever said that the guy should be trying to put a smile on her face just as she is made responsible for his happiness.

She is supposed to find contentment simply because she is married again?? why is no one asking the In laws about why they treat her with so much indifference?? even her own mother departs the house after some platitudes about how true love conquers all!!

She is supposed to be happy simply coz she has sindur on her forehead and her son has a “father” again?? even though her in- laws treat her so poorly and the husband is indifferent? just because he claims to “respect” her and lets her stay in his house??

She seemed much happier to me in the initial episodes. When she zipped around the city on a scooty, taking care of her son, assisting her parents in their business. taking down rude shopkeepers with sharp words and goondas with a wicked right hook.

so as everyone with a brain had predicted, the lokpal bill is back to gathering dust...

i haven't written anything on the blog in a very long time.. i havn't even had an opportunity to read the blogs i follow for a while.. blame it all on my technological ignorance because somehow i'd managed to halt my laptop's ability to function... 

anyway,

There have been many many things i should've written about.. 

As predicted, the lokpal bill is back on the backburner while politicians who pretended to favour the bill have hidden behind issues of caste and representation and 'fairness' ... though i find myself absolutely unable to understand why the question of reservation in a body like this ever came up.. the criteria should be whether the person has any allegations of corruption against them, and have a certain level of education.. and the backbone to stand up and tell powerful people that they are on to them... but what do i know of politics and policy, i'm just a humble student...

The comments made by some "people in power" about what a girl should wear to avoid rape were true gems... now if they could just explain why i'm still getting whistled at when in a salwar kameez and shawl and coat with even my hair covered up because the Delhi winters are murderously cold... i would supposed i "invited" the eve teasing were i strutting around in an LBD, but why would these "decent men" be "enticed" by someone who looks like a bear???? 

the new year has come in and we're all waiting to see if 2012 will actually be the end of the world.. i'm sorta hoping it will because my parents are getting increasingly agitated about my marriage and once i'm done studying i won't have an excuse to stop them from "atleast looking for a suitable boy"... so here's hoping the Mayans were right.. but considering they also thought that people were made of corn i'm not so sure my prayers will get answered... plus the Hindu calendar never ends and being an Indian i'm gonna have to believe that one...

forgive my lack of sunshine and roses... January 2012 has been a bang up month so far...and to top it all off Sachin never got that 100th ton...

i think i'll stay in bed and watch movies till the apocalypse.. oh wait.........

mi familia

so my family's suddenly given me a huge shock by changing without me noticing it.. or to be fair, anticipating it.. not only are the brats grown up, owl engaged to be married, abby's hit the big three O, parents have become suddenly cool about me choosing career over even a conversation about marriage.. ati, anu and vrin, my younger sisters have grown up to the extent that i now no longer feel all 'elder- sibling-ey'.. and that all just happened all of a sudden...
anu got her 12th board results today.. 91.5 %.. and i've been jumpinng around the house with happiness and pride since chachu called in the morning with the news.. ati's finished with college and is trying to choose between postgrad or job.. vrin, who always did hold her own against me even when much younger, has bagged an awesome internship with an apparel and accessories manufacturer after creating jaw droppingly gorgeous stuff as part of her accessory design course..
i feel so boringly insignificant all of a sudden.. the entire family's at grandmom's rt now celebrating anu's result and i'm at home half heartedly preparing for the criminology exam tomorrow.. and i dont even have cool stuff to brag about anymore.. i've not done anything remotely exciting for a very very very long time now..
:(     sighhh

ah well.. i'm just gonna look at this as MY influence that they're doing so well.. akhir mera aashirwad jo mila hai.. :)

through the looking glass.. another world

there's so much happenning in the country.. the sudden huge anti corruption movement, the census figures creating a hue and cry.. an anti-child sex abuse month, demolition of so called 'illegal colonies'and protests, tsunamis and radiation leakes, the amazing brouhaha over gandhiji's sexuality and India's scintillating world cup win...

and yet in my house the most important thing is my parents' 25th wedding anniversary next week..

its quite weird how personal events completely block important public concerns...

falling like wickets at a bad cricket match...

i meant to write a nice long post about current events and the news and life n stuff.. (specially since taht anonymous commentor wrote that one was expected from me) i swear i did.. but things are just so weird right now that i need to be all self absorbed and let this nonsense out instead.. I'm FREAKING out!!!
there is this sudden SPATE of weddings around me and seeing every single wicket fall my parents' muttering about my own impending doom are growing louder by the day... Owl's engagement was on friday night, and today my mama called with teh news that HIS son Vin too has declared his intention to marry his longtime girlfriend.. and seeing all and sundry relatives preparing has given my parents a panic attack, both about the 'age' bit (i'm only ^$$%#^&%%# 23 DAMNIT!!) and the fact that weddings these days are very very very expensive.. and whenever i laugh off their worries with a 'dont worry i'll elope and marry so u dont neeed to think about expenses", it does nothing but scare them even more coz hey.. they don't trust my choice.. not counting the fact that since i'm not seeing anyone, there isn't a possibility of me coming up with a 'suitable boy' anytime soon... and they're getting all jittery about the fact that i will be 24 when my law course finally finishes and have expressly forbidden them from mentioning the 'M' word with any seriousness to me till i turn 25.. and today dad came up with this.. "weddings are getting so expensive.. did u see what owl's parents and in-laws did for the engagement alone?"
deflated all my happiness and excitement about my bhai -ki -sagai i tell u... i'd been so happy before they sprung this conversation on me..

my daddy strongest!

it makes for quite an interesting conversation when two people deliberately take sides that are opposite to their actual views.. poor dad has had to play devil's advocate coz i needed help in forming arguments for a moot court competition.. i'm seriously in awe of the man right now.. there was a point in the last few days when i felt like an absolute child again.. just listening to dad talking and thinking that papa knows absolutely everything in the world..
hopefully when i grow older and have kids of my own.. they will have such moments too.. :)

bouncing owls :)

i'm so happy i can barely contain my excitement... my sleepy owl of a brother is finally getting married!!! and a love marriage at that.. i can't imagine how my poor bhabi- to- be puts up with him but i'm sooooo happy for both of them that i just had to jump around and tell the world :)

speaking of putting up with crazies... Ati has decided to go gallivanting off out of town to celebrate the approaching end of her college life, using ME as the excuse to her mom who thinks she's spending the night at my house.. when i tried to use elder-sisterly authority to forbid her trip she simply modified her plans to counter all possible objections that i could raise.. and i can hardly stop a 20 year old from doing what she wants as long as she's taking the safe route.. she reminded me of all the silly stunts i've pulled in my college life to counter my "oh its not safe" reasoning.. thank god for friends who graciously stepped in to relieve my fears.. shruti, whose currently studying in that city happily promised to help out if required and AB found a distant cousin who could be approached for help if need be.. ofcourse they both chewed me out for letting her do something that hairbrained.. though AB did agree with ati that i really had no foot to stand on as regarded irresponsible behavior done behind parents' backs... but she is like a kid sister to me and i know i'm gonna be freaking till she gets back to sweet old delhi tomorrow and i can shake her till her bones rattle... 

however.. the fact remains that i am somewhere rather jealous and i wish I could be off doing something that silly.. not to mention the fact that she's gonna see the tajmahal on a misty morning...

siiiiiiiggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.............................

i'm not that pesky little kid you took care of... i grew up. can you please deal with it like a grown up

it really hurts when the person because of whom you have been put in fetters says that being restricted is a good thing... that the outside world is not safe enough for you.... when each time you try to loosen your chains they are tightened because of the enduring spectre of THAT person..

i know its stupid to resent someone who never knew what havoc their behaviour might cause.... who genuinely thinks that the same fetters they broke in their bid to live would keep someone else safe and happy.. its even more ridiculous however, to have kept well within lines and done everything expected of you.. and then be denied the power to take decisions that affect no one but yourself... its downright hurts when you comply with every valid and stupid restriction far beyond the age where anyone less compliant would and did, and yet you're tarred with the brush of rebellion when all you want is to be recognised as a thinking person in your own right...

i suppose it would be a bit counterproductive to quote britney spears of all the people after saying that i am too old to be controlled, but this song says it all..

i'm not a girl
there is no need to protect me..
........

ive seen so much more than you know now.. and thats why it seems to me...
i'm not a girl.

ties...

He was everywhere she looked... and nowhere at all.. every corner that she peered around had some hint of him.. a lingering scent.. an echo… maybe a fading footprint in the mess that was the floor..


She desperately wanted to get away… escape him if only for a little while.. maybe disappear into a world where he didn’t exist…

“I really need some time to myself.. its like my entire existence has been consumed by his demands… what do I do?”

“you can’t actually mean that maya… you know you love him.. you cannot possibly survive an hour without him.. and you know how he loves you”

“that’s easy for you to say nina… do you know I haven’t painted in heaven knows how long.. haven’t danced.. haven’t even read a good book.. everytime I want to just sit down he puts forward a new demand…”

“why are you whispering though?”

“I sneaked into the other room.. he’s sleeping right now.. if he wakes up and finds me missing he’ll start screaming again.. I should probably go.. I think I hear him waking up…”

.

.

.

“mumma…..????”

“aye mela bachcha.. ninna nahi ai??”

“mumma godi”

“aa ja beta..”

He sighed in peace as she took him in her arms…

“how could I ever even think about getting away from him….”

what is it like when your nurse falls ill??

“I’m bored.. I don’t want to lie down anymore”
“you sat up for quite a while this morning ma.. just lie down right now..”
“I feel fine..” she starts to turn..
“ow”
.
.

2 hours later..
“I’ve had it.. I’m getting up now…”
“you’re going to feel even worse if you get up.. just relax in bed!”
“but I’m bored..”
“so read a book”
“I can’t read.. it gives me a headache”
“okay come and watch TV”
“its those ridiculous saas bahu rona dhonas all the time.. there’s nothing to watch on tv”

I switch on my music but my choice of songs annoys her
“don’t you have any hindi songs of the kind I would listen to??”
.
.

5 minutes later, she’s sitting up again..

“I’m going to take a short walk around the house”
Her Older sis(OS) jumps in at this point.. “will u just shut up and lie down.. The doctor told you to stay in bed for two weeks!”
.
.

I look around from the stove to see her standing in the kitchen door
“what are you doing?”
“why did u walk all the way here? You should have just rung the bell and I’d come”
“I was tired of lying down.. what are you making?”
“nothing really… paneer for your snack”
“I don’t want paneer… give me a knife and fork, I’ll cut an apple”
“you really shouldn’t sit on the dining room chair.. it’s not healthy for you”
“I don’t care… feel fine... now just get me the knife and plate. Cutting an apple is not too much work”

“ow”
“I TOLD you not to sit in this straight chair mom.. now come lie down..”

“but I’m so bored…….”


she had a surgery last week.. been home for two days..
mothers are IMPOSSIBLE to mother..