the law of attraction

YES i truly am this vella and YES i CAN get this obsessed with a project... so what started as a joke with friends to draft the legislative provsions of the law of attraction is now a full fledged, 5 page work tht i've spent most of today on.. and YES OFCOURSE i want comments!!! from people who have studied law and those who havent, from those who have had crushes and those who havent PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE comment on this post.

FYI.. YES I REALLY WROTE ALL OF THIS BY MYSELF.. and NO you are NOT allowed to make fun of it coz its all true.

P.s. the idea of this legislation came from the SPIL form that i have as yet NOT filled.. n deadline's tomorrow..

THE HUMAN ATTRACTION (INITIAL PREFERENCE) ACT 2009
(987654321 of 2009)

(17th September 2009)

PREAMBLE Where it is expedient to amend and codify the law relating to preliminary attraction among humans.
BE IT ENACTED by the senses of human society in the year 2009 AD of human existence as follows

PRELIMINARY

1. Short title, extent and commencement. - (1) this act may be called the Human Attraction (Initial Preference) Act, 2009.
(2) It extends to the whole of humanity including those existing the territory of storybook romance.
Explanation: This act only applies to mental phenomena of attraction amongst humans. Actual formation of the relationship whether physical, emotional or social do not come under the purview of this act but are regulated by various other legislations including the Societal Rules and Etiquettes Act and the Parental Authorities acts.
2. Application of Act. – (1)This act applies to any human being
(a) who has attained the age of puberty; or
(b) any person, male or female who is mentally capable of forming infatuatory relationship with another person.
( c) who is not suffering from mental unsoundness produced by the phenomena commonly known as “Cupid’s Arrow.”
3. Definitions.- In this act, unless the context otherwise requires,-
(a) “the person” refers to the infatuor or subject i.e. the male or female who forms such infatuation as defined by the Act;
(b) ‘the male’, or ‘the female’ unless otherwise specified refer to the infatuee or object of such infatuation;
(c) ‘Parental Authority’ or ‘societal authority’ refers to the progenitors of the subject or object of infatuation and the social group that the parental authorities belong to respectively;
(d) ‘intellectual capacity’ implies the capacity of ‘the male’ or ‘the female’ to learn and make judgments. It also includes capacity to conduct rational and/or humorous conversation. ‘mental capacity’ refers to the ability of the object to understand that it would be prudent to give the subject a position of authority.
(e) ‘relationship’ under the purview of the act refers to a future sexual and/or emotional relationship.
Saving: The object of the infatuation may be of the same or the opposite sex to the infatuor. The terms ‘the male’ and ‘the female’ are used as general terms for legislative convenience.
4. Overriding effect of the Act.- Save as expressly provided in the Act any theory or rule of attraction propounded in movies, romance novels self help books or psychology manuals shall cease to have effect with respect to any matter for which provision is made in the Act.

PART I
GENERAL PROVISIONS
CHAPTER I
OF FEMALE INFATUATION

This chapter applies solely to the female part of the human species. The rules pertaining to male humans shall be dealt with in chapter II of the Act.

5. Definitions:
(1)‘the female’ in the following sections refers to the specific infatuor or subject of the infatuation as discussed herein.
(2)’other female’ under these sections refers to any other female that ‘the male’ finds or may find attractive.

6. Specific attributes: the female may find a male of the same species attractive if the said male possesses acceptable physical attributes, and/or is economically sound and/or is intellectually and mentally eligible.

7.Physical attributes defined: physical features that signify excellent capability to copulate defined by attributes such as height/weight ratio and/or musculature.
(1) in particular and without prejudice to the aforementioned conditions, dark complexion, height and conformity to accepted idea of good facial and bodily features is an essential criteria in situations where the intellectual and economic aptitude of the male is unknown.
(2) personal grooming, including clothing, hygiene and hairstyle of the male must conform to the standards set by the female.

Saving: in case the object of the infatuation is a female, section 7(1) stands voided.

8. Economic attributes defined: in situations where assessment of physical attributes is impractical or impossible due to absence of visual contact, parental interference or deemed unlawful by societal authority, the economic capabilities of the male shall overrule the provision of Section 7. The following economic criteria may then be applied-
(1) motor vehicle: the type and cost of motor vehicle driven by the male
(2) habitat: this includes the living space as well as profession of the male
(3) currency notes or negotiable instruments under the control of the male
Explanation: the mental capacity of male to accept the right of female to make use of the aforementioned items as and when required is necessary for the application of this section.

9. Intellectual attributes: the female may, in certain situations attribute attractiveness to the voice, mannerisms or intellectual capacity of the male
Explanation I: this provision may be applied in situations wherein the physical and/or economic attributes are equal to those of other males in the vicinity and selection must be based on factors of intellectual aptitude.
Explanation II: This provision may also be applied in situations where the male is not viewable by the female and contact between the two is by telephone, internet or letters.
SCOPE: this provision is applied in rare situations wherein the choice of the female is either extremely limited due to lack of eligible males or made difficult due to presence of more than the optimum number of eligible males.

10. Peer influence: the attractiveness of the object for the female may also be in certain cases proportional to the extent of approval and attraction exhibited by other competing females towards the male.

CHAPTER II
OF MALE INFATUATION

11. Definitions.- (a)‘the male’ in this chapter refers to the infatuor or person forming the infatuation;
(b) ‘the female’ in the chapter refers to the specific female of the species on whom the infatuation rests. If the object of the infatuation is a male member of the species, sections 7, 8 and 9 of the act may be applied.

12. general attributes:- a male may find a female attractive if such female possesses certain physical attributes. In specific situations, certain economic or intellectual attributes may also be applicable.

13. Physical attributes defined:- a male may find a female attractive if she possesses physical attributes capable of stimulation of the male libido as defined by the Fashion Police Act.
(1) the female may possess a body type defined under the Fashion Police Act as the ‘hourglass figure” or approximate proportion; or
(2) possession of features defined as “pouty lips”, or enhanced mammary or gluteous tissue; or
(3) proportion of amount of clothing worn by the female to the skin of said female is 1/3 or greater; or
(4) the clothing worn by the female accentuates the shape or size of the mammary or gluteus tissue.
Saving: the personal grooming exhibited by the female in form of clothing choice, makeup and accessories are also part of the required physical attributes though not an essential requirement.

14. mental capacity defined.- in case the physical attributes of the female are unknown due to restrictions imposed by parental or societal authorities the mental capacity of the female, as defined under the general provisions of the act may be applicable.

15. economic attributes defined.- the economic capacity of the female and/ or her parental authority to provide the requirements listed under the subsections of section 8 are applicable in situations where the requirements of section 13 are not met.

PART II
COMPOSITION OF ARBITRAL TRIBUNAL
CHAPTER III

16. WHEN DETERMINATION OF ELIGIBILITY DEPENDS ON THE OPINION OF OUTSIDE PARTY: in cases wherein the infatuor is unable to find eligible object or must decide to take action with respect to the infatuation, authorization of such action may be done by
(1)peer group: friends of the infatuor may act as authorities to decide the question of eligibility. The number of friends who may be appointed as arbitrators may be determined by the infatuor.
(2) parental authority: parental authority may enforce special right of adjudication with respect to the choices of the infatuor under the overriding provisions of the Parental Authority Act.
Explanation: this section can only be applicable when the infatuatuor is intent upon making contact with the infatuee. The simple mental state of attraction does not come under the provision of this section.


CHAPTER IV
OF VOIDABILITY OF ATTRACTION AND PUNISHMENTS

17. Voidability of attraction.- if the subject of the attraction does not form similar infatuation with eth male or female, it would be incumbent on the infatuor to withdraw such infatuation. The attraction is voidable in cases where acceptance of infatuation is delayed or denied.

18. Punishment for continuation of attraction declared void.- once the infatuee has denied the attraction continuation of the feelings of attraction may entail mental and physical anguish.
(1) the male or female may have to undergo bouts of tears or emotional pain; or
(2) if the object of attraction is already bonded with a different male or female, physical or verbal attacks on the person of the infatuee may be made.