I've been living in the world of books for a long long time... taking my cues and inspirations from the characters i read.. wishing my life could get magically sorted with the stroke of a pen... but whose life do we really know about anyway??
at the end Marianne does give in to the pressures of her sister and "everyone else" around... does that mean she settles or does she actually be happy..?
Elinor finds her love, as do Elizabeth and Jane... its the not quite the heroine sisters who you are left wondering about... does Lydia ever be happy or is she forced to live the rest of her life regretting the bad decisions she made at 15? is it enough that Brandon fancies himself in love?
I have always wanted the fireworks.. the impossible love that makes you feel giddy like you're soaring into the sky and nothing else matters.. I always said that i stayed because it was the only place where i felt like home.. like that is where i was meant to be...
Marianne had the good fortune to have been 18 years old.. I am much older and was regretfully not born in the 1800s.. I am supposedly an intelligent grown up..
so do I let go of the rainbows and butterflies and agree to the compromise of "maybes" and cynical realities where the teenage fantasy of love does not exist and what you really want is someone who cares about you and you understand and share values with and have the society's blessings to be with....?
I haven't bought a new M&B in a while... i gave up on the "no matter what we will sort it out and live happily ever after" tripe years ago... so why does it raise a wall of revulsion in me when everyone around me wants me to come to my senses and do the sensible thing??
in any case, there is no way in hell of finding a spark if you never let yourself go anywhere near fuel...
3 comments:
Hi Anne..
I read your blog off and on, and it seems like you are either holding on to a person or a premise that was a part of you a long time ago. I usually am more of a silent reader in the online community, but things you sometimes talk about seem to echo with me.. the age old tale of loving and losing.
Having said that, i do believe that everyone writes their own love story, and it CAN be rewritten again.
Loving and losing and then loving again isn't impossible, and i say so from experience. It's never too late to write YOUR own story. Let the past melt away, and allow the present and the future to take their own shape.
You might have lost out on someone, who fit a certain picture. Don't let that picture be so sharp still, that it blurs all others which might have a chance to replace it..
31/05/2015
K.
hold on anne !!
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