i am officially feeling over the hill "damn i'm on the wrong side of 25" and in the midst of a semi panic attack... had a nearly full blown one complete with elevated heart rate and difficulty breathing just a few mins ago but was on the phone with ash so he talked me out of completely unraveling...
N got married in an ostentatious and gorgeous as a movie set extravaganza last week.. which lasted all week and is only "officially" ending with a reception from the Groom's side tomorrow... and in April, Ansh will get married too..
i'm used to seeing N with a bf, so her with a husband wasn't nearly as OMFGness inducing.. but right now.. at past midnight in the middle of a working week talking to ansh about a plan to get mad drunk and catch up when he comes back to Delhi next month.. i realised that this relationship is about to change completely... for the longest time I was the one in a relationship and took time out to spend time with him.. for a very long time now we were both single and alone and we were always there for each other.. and even though i have had nearly a year to get used to the upcoming wedding.. it hits me every single time that i think about it that our friendship will HAVE to take a backseat.. one could bid a boyfriend/girlfriend goodnight and then go and talk to friends.. once you're married with your wife in your room, you can't exactly pick up a call/skype with an insomniac friend in the middle of the night can you??
i am very well aware of the fact that i'm being weird and selfish.. he's happy, he's finally found someone he wants to be with.. after all these years of being alone.. as his best friend i am ecstatic for him... and i'm also sad about me...
i realllly have to go meet my bhabi to be in jaipur and then get off my ass and actually go for that mad vacation we have been planning for years.. i'm nearly 26 years old, by best friend is getting married.. the least i can do is throw that bachelor party/vacation we have been planning forever....
N got married in an ostentatious and gorgeous as a movie set extravaganza last week.. which lasted all week and is only "officially" ending with a reception from the Groom's side tomorrow... and in April, Ansh will get married too..
i'm used to seeing N with a bf, so her with a husband wasn't nearly as OMFGness inducing.. but right now.. at past midnight in the middle of a working week talking to ansh about a plan to get mad drunk and catch up when he comes back to Delhi next month.. i realised that this relationship is about to change completely... for the longest time I was the one in a relationship and took time out to spend time with him.. for a very long time now we were both single and alone and we were always there for each other.. and even though i have had nearly a year to get used to the upcoming wedding.. it hits me every single time that i think about it that our friendship will HAVE to take a backseat.. one could bid a boyfriend/girlfriend goodnight and then go and talk to friends.. once you're married with your wife in your room, you can't exactly pick up a call/skype with an insomniac friend in the middle of the night can you??
i am very well aware of the fact that i'm being weird and selfish.. he's happy, he's finally found someone he wants to be with.. after all these years of being alone.. as his best friend i am ecstatic for him... and i'm also sad about me...
i realllly have to go meet my bhabi to be in jaipur and then get off my ass and actually go for that mad vacation we have been planning for years.. i'm nearly 26 years old, by best friend is getting married.. the least i can do is throw that bachelor party/vacation we have been planning forever....
4 comments:
1) Why are you linking single with alone ? They aren't linked.
2) Why is marriage like a job with protocol? You have to spend the rest of your life with someone. Why can't you simply step out of the room to talk to a friend? It's not a jail sentence with no visiting hours.
3)Relationships will always continue if adequate time is invested. Your spouse is a part of your life...
KS
Dear K.S.
While I would leave it to Ms AM's fine wisdom and judgment to ponder over your comment and write a nice reply, here is my two cents worth about what you have written -
1.) She hasn't linked being Single with loneliness. She is talking about the 'dynamics' of relationships.
2.) Refer to point 1 - 'dynamic' is the word. It's undeniable that marriage changes equations. Of-course you can still go out and meet friends and party - but it becomes sporadic. The early phase of marriage is especially transitional.. It
3.) Buddha very rightly said - You think you have time. There is only so much of it. It's like the Class 5th Maths question where you have to divide the cake piece between 5 people. With marriage - that distribution becomes distorted because a.) there are more people to share the piece
b.) someone will get the bigger share (and rightly and naturally so!)
And please don't entice me into drawing a graph and explaining it :D
Of-course there could be several scenarios here.
Ms. A.M. - Thanks for mirroring the thoughts of several people in the 25-30 bracket! :)
You r mad like always anne good to see that!!
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