mi familia

so my family's suddenly given me a huge shock by changing without me noticing it.. or to be fair, anticipating it.. not only are the brats grown up, owl engaged to be married, abby's hit the big three O, parents have become suddenly cool about me choosing career over even a conversation about marriage.. ati, anu and vrin, my younger sisters have grown up to the extent that i now no longer feel all 'elder- sibling-ey'.. and that all just happened all of a sudden...
anu got her 12th board results today.. 91.5 %.. and i've been jumpinng around the house with happiness and pride since chachu called in the morning with the news.. ati's finished with college and is trying to choose between postgrad or job.. vrin, who always did hold her own against me even when much younger, has bagged an awesome internship with an apparel and accessories manufacturer after creating jaw droppingly gorgeous stuff as part of her accessory design course..
i feel so boringly insignificant all of a sudden.. the entire family's at grandmom's rt now celebrating anu's result and i'm at home half heartedly preparing for the criminology exam tomorrow.. and i dont even have cool stuff to brag about anymore.. i've not done anything remotely exciting for a very very very long time now..
:(     sighhh

ah well.. i'm just gonna look at this as MY influence that they're doing so well.. akhir mera aashirwad jo mila hai.. :)

Jenny kissed me

so this was a poem we learnt in class 5 i think.. or maybe 6th... i remember this huge argument in class with Indu Yadav ma'am, our english teacher about whether Jenny was a cat or a woman.. compounded by the fact that our english book did not carry the poet's full name but carried it as Leigh Hunt, which to us sounded like a girl's name, and added to our confusion about what exactly  'jenny' here was..
 and i loved this random sounding verse so much that i set it to a tune.. and proceeded to sing it for days together.. i have no idea why i suddenly thought of it now after so many years.. but suddenly the tune popped into my head and i HAD to look it up and post it..

Jenny Kissed me. - James Henry Leigh Hunt.
(here's what i found about it on the Wondering Minstrels blog)


Jenny kissed me when we met,

Jumping from the chair she sat in;

Time, you thief, who love to get

Sweets into your list, put that in!

Say I'm weary, say I'm sad,

Say that health and wealth have missed me,

Say I'm growing old, but add,

Jenny kissed me.




ah silly childhood memories :)

is it 2 am or 2 pm.. my brain can't quite make up its mind..

i don't know what it was that compelled me to write or what it is now that my fingers hesitate to move.. it sometimes feels like the child-woman- storyteller inside of me has gone silent.. or has simply lost the voice i once had, or maybe just the words..
i found three stories that i had started to write... when i was still trying to write a romance novel.. overdose of mills n boon and far too much romance on my brain.. then i abandoned the stories just like i abandoned the fairytale dream they contained.. and all i'm left with now are a few sheets of paper, snatches of dreams put down in ink and photos of the places i wanted my storybook couple to live their romance in... i can't write..
i've been asked why i haven't finished them yet.. my reply is always the same.. its because whatever i write is a part of me.. i live my dreams in what i write.. and currently my dreams are in suspended animation.. i can't write..

........................................

the brats have taken to sleeping in my room these days.. the cooler is on here and i've split the double bed so that i have one half and they share the other half.. even at 15, with a hint of hair on their faces, and the childish features slowly disssloving into the harsher planes of adulthood.. they look so cute when they're asleep.. like my boys are still my boys.. as if they never grow up when they're asleep... though theire voices have broken and they're getting slimmer and taller and more grown up by the day.. they're in 10th now.. and so intent on proving the're all grown up.. sometimes i wish they  could've stayed children forever..

........................................

"don't be afraid to express who you are and who you want to be"... you said to me at a time when all i wanted to be was a mother... and then i woke up from the dream and realised i was still a child myself..

I dont belong- Intervention

so i heard a new song today.. amazingly by a band that a good friend is in.. not that he recommended it to me or even told me about it.. (the cut out lines coz 2 mins after this blogpost went up i got several irate messages from said friend who swears taht he did tell me all about his band and i'm the one with the lousy memory..  here u go dude.. correction added)
its quite weird how many ppl i was good friends with or sang/competed with/against are now professionals and it does make me wonder what i've done with my life.. but this isn't about teh nostalgia or teh 'what may have been's.. this is about THIS song..

Sap fwded the link to their fb page and i totally fell in love with this song so decided to put it up here... and it does form the perfect background score to my life right now... as do the lyrics..

Intervention- I Dont belong here

I twist and turn as I lay on my bed

I knew this day wouldn’t end this great.
Something random in my mind
Feels like that something in me died.

These four walls closing up on me
Suffocate me; won’t let me breathe.

I don’t belong here
Trapped in my shell.
Wanna run and break free.
I don’t belong here
I see the light fade
There ain’t nothing here..nothing here for me.

I try to blend but I don’t fit in
I lust for love but I’m lost within.
A helping hand is all I need
A little push to make me believe that.

These four walls closing up on me
Suffocate me; won’t let me breathe.

I don’t belong here
Trapped in my shell.
Wanna run and break free.
I don’t belong here
I see the light fade
There ain’t nothing here..nothing here for me.



I took some time to figure out

I din’t go too far to turn around.

The man in the mirror has changed a lot

Just the same but with different thoughts







.

so a skirt is how you lift a game???

the Badminton World federation today announced that it is now mandatory for female players to wear a skirt on the court, shorts may be worn underneath the skirt if the player so wants... she stupid sexism behind this rule, and the way it was discussed on NDTV's 9 'o Clock news prompted me to write and write strongly about this..
so NDTV called Jesse Randhawa, a former player and now a model to comment, and the statement she made is something i have a particular grouse against.. she actually said that women would be better players if they wore short skirts instead of long skirts on court. now SOMEONE please tell me just who IS  it that wears an "ugly long skirt" while playing a competitive sport??? and how is it going to make anyone more somfortable if she's got to deal with flying skirts rather than the game?????

Top Indian players like Saina Nehwal and Jwala Gutta pretty much refused to give a straight comment.. Saina, who is currently ranked 3rd in teh world simply said that "tehy must have some important reason for making this rule and not just for glamourising the game", while Jwala made an even more outrageous statement than Jesse randhawa by saying "most players are pretty good looking so they will look good ina  skirt" like.. is THAT the way to win games??
the anchor asked this question too.. isn't it good performance and medals earned in the games that have brought players into focus? whats the point of unnecessary dress codes?

isnt it a supremely sexist idea that players shouldnt be allowed to choose their own clothing for the sake of "attractive presentation".. why is there no dress code for the male players then?
and how sexist and lascivicious is the audience that they'll watch a game purely for teh sake of teh female players' legs when they wouldn't watch it for the quality of the game...

through the looking glass.. another world

there's so much happenning in the country.. the sudden huge anti corruption movement, the census figures creating a hue and cry.. an anti-child sex abuse month, demolition of so called 'illegal colonies'and protests, tsunamis and radiation leakes, the amazing brouhaha over gandhiji's sexuality and India's scintillating world cup win...

and yet in my house the most important thing is my parents' 25th wedding anniversary next week..

its quite weird how personal events completely block important public concerns...