you're the Man now...

misogyny and affirmation of patriachy come in hues so varied that sometimes you can't even tell its there, and sometimes it is so brutally in your face that you're left gasping in shock at it..
i could write reams about the recent incidents of "harassment" at workplace that happened in the much venerated halls of teh judiciary and the media.. but enough newsprint has already been spent on it.. my concern is with a little more insidious and "oh its a joke" kind...
has anyone seen the new Park Avenue perfume advertisement? the one which shows a guy 'marking his territory' like an animal?? THAT ladies and gentlemen is what has my hackles rising..

since i'm writing on a computer where youtube is blocked, i'm gonna have to write down the story sequence of the ad..
there is a woman siting at a bar
a guy approaches, tries to chat her up
another guy, presumably a husband or boyfriend, all dolled up in a nice suit and gelled back hair, sprays his Park Avenue perfume on the bar stool beside her, and says "my territory"
Guy 1 tries to pick up her drink, Guy 2 sprays on that too, staking his claim
finally, guy 2 sprays the perfume on and around the girl, saying 'all mine' as he does so...
the girl? oh she's staring vapidly at the two men as if she has no b%^$ idea whats going on..
the ad ends with the tagline of "real men mark their territory with their scent"

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!!

what exactly is this ad trying to show?? men are animals? women are to be 'protected'? or simply that people in whatever ad firm that thought this up have zero respect for women or men for that matter..??
mark your territory??
so you're a dog or something that needs to piss on things to feel like the master of the domain?? the woman is "territory" with no brains or tongue of her own?

civilization and civility demands that we learn to respect people as People, as individual persons, and here we have an Ad that not only reduces a woman to an object with no mind of her own, you also have an ad that suggests that even the well heeled, (hopefully) educated upper class men have to behave like anmals and disrespect their partner if they want to "be Men.'

its one of the worst, most brainlessly put together ads I have seen in recent memory... 

to friends

Thank you KS for dedicating this song to me...
you have no idea of how good it feels..

and i know you're gonna pout at this... but i would also dedicate this song to tinni, ansh, ati and N...
i love you... 

Passive agressiveness and friendship do not mix

pick one.
either stick to trying to speak to me and resolving issues.. or just stay away.. I am NOT the one who approached you, or even the one who sent random cryptic messages after weeks of disappearance asking whether i'm still alive..
I was always frank and open with you.. i made you no promises, told you no lies.. whatever misconceptions you chose to nurse and then hang on to are no longer my problem..
i will always remember that boy who sang with a smile, the one who had fun dreams and said weird things for the shock value and made up things to escape a yelling at...
I will always remember the guy who talked me out of jumping off the roof on a day that nothing else came close to feeling like it mattered..

You aren't that guy anymore.. and I am not that girl..
so Goodbye..
may you find your way out of the darkness soon.

of rose tinted glasses and damaged frames

I used to live in a bubble then.. my friends, my family protected me and supported me and I could forget about reality and pain and cynical thoughts and believe in magic and rainbows and the see the best in people and BELIEVE that people were inherently good…

Then my angel shed his wings, my wall broke and my brother and sister left…

And now I am a shell most of the time… that spontaneity and happiness and rose colored glasses I used to live with are now gone and I have to force myself to interact with even the people who make me feel most alive because sometimes the feeling of the blood and adrenaline coursing through my veins is a bit too much and I need to shut down and retreat so I don’t get too overwhelmed..

You asked me why I changed… you’re one of those who threw a knife at me and walked away.. and yet you wonder where I learnt to flinch?

panic attacks at best friends' weddings...

i am officially feeling over the hill "damn i'm on the wrong side of 25" and in the midst of a semi panic attack... had a nearly full blown one complete with elevated heart rate and difficulty breathing just a few mins ago but was on the phone with ash so he talked me out of completely unraveling...
N got married in an ostentatious and gorgeous as a movie set extravaganza last week.. which lasted all week and is only "officially" ending with a reception from the Groom's side tomorrow... and in April, Ansh will get married too..
i'm used to seeing N with a bf, so her with a husband wasn't nearly as OMFGness inducing.. but right now.. at past midnight in the middle of a working week talking to ansh about a plan to get mad drunk and catch up when he comes back to Delhi next month.. i realised that this relationship is about to change completely... for the longest time I was the one in a relationship and took time out to spend time with him.. for a very long time now we were both single and alone and we were always there for each other.. and even though i have had nearly a year to get used to the upcoming wedding.. it hits me every single time that i think about it that our friendship will HAVE to take a backseat.. one could bid a boyfriend/girlfriend goodnight and then go and talk to friends.. once you're married with your wife in your room, you can't exactly pick up a call/skype with an insomniac friend in the middle of the night can you??
i am very well aware of the fact that i'm being weird and selfish.. he's happy, he's finally found someone he wants to be with.. after all these years of being alone.. as his best friend i am ecstatic for him... and i'm also sad about me...
i realllly have to go meet my bhabi to be in jaipur and then get off my ass and actually go for that mad vacation we have been planning for years.. i'm nearly 26 years old, by best friend is getting married.. the least i can do is throw that bachelor party/vacation we have been planning forever....

frazzled

INCESSANT WHINING ALERT!
PLEASE MOVE TO A DIFERENT BLOG/BLOGPOST..
this one is solely so i can get the whine out of my system and maybe get motivated enough to get off my ass and actually do something about it..

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or maybe its a keening cry for a hug and chocolate? or a swift kick in the ass even...
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so i was flipping through my day planner diary and realised that there are verrry few pages left for the year... where the hell did  2013 go??
I had made a list of things i wanted to accomplish over this year... and i can't even right now remember where i put it... the few things i DO remember putting on the list are undone...

I seem to have lost a year without really having anything to show for it.. I haven't done any spectacular stories, haven't really done anything memorable really... sure i have made a few more contacts in the courts, but no breakthrough stories yet...

 was supposed to take a holiday.. that fantasy holiday where I let go of my fears and just get up and explore whatever place suits my fancy with whatever company I can find... I went to Goa for a week but thanks to the rain and my own laziness the only things i really did in that week is sleep and read on the terrace.. unlike the mad picture of exploration and debauchery i had painted in my head or a fun holiday romance, what i DID come away with from there was a horror of my sister's crazy dog and a whole new collection of romance novels...

i was supposed to get over my mental hangup about the AB and move on.. maybe date again, maybe just have a damned fling.. have  done that?? NO..

i was supposed to FINALLY write or atleast start on that novel that makes some sporadic appearances in the recesses of my half asleep mind...the most i have to show for that is a few pages of rambling text that even I cant bear reading through...

what IS the point of life when all i feel like doing lately is to hide under my bed with a book and forget that life exists...