Happy Diwali to everyone!!!!!!

diwali meant:

crackers bought  a week beforehand and hidden in a cupboard to be given to me a day or two before diwali
kaju ki burfi, and a small box of plain burfi just for me
family gatherings
warnings to not get too close to the crackers
laughter and a resigned 'humne bhi aise hi kiya hai" when i proudly said i wanted bombs and not childish phuljharis and anars...


diwali isn't the same without you babaji...

Jaa Chudail

i've always hated people who indulge in personal politics.. people who would just for the heck of it make up stories to trouble others, to get out of doing work or to simply make themselves look or feel better.. i'm not gonna take some holier than thou road and say that i hate them coz they lie.. but because they actively hurt other people by making up things when things would have been just fine without them havong to have said anything whatsoever

another kind of people i really have trouble handling is people who never ever listen to anything anyone has to say.. who are such hypocrites that they go back on the sentence they speak the moment it leaves their mouth coz their ego can't take it..

unfortunately i've had to deal with both such people just today.

this is for both of you.. may you live long and realise what kind of people you are....

to march or not to march

Delhi university has a large number of people heavily into student politics and whenever there is a hot potato issue in National politics, one can be sure there will be some tamasha or the other happening in the university as well..  

There is a Save Irom Sharmila Karavan' from Srinagar to Imphal currently travelling through Delhi and some people involved in that protest came to Delhi University. 

Here they met a few people who objected to their slogan of 'End the AFSPA' and a louly shouting match ensued... with the Delhi police playing referee and keeping the two 'peaceful' groups from beating each other up

"desh hamare Raam ka, nahin kisi ke kaam ka!" vs "desh ke gaddaron ko, joote maaro saalo ko!"

soon there were more policemen than protesters around..

i stopped for a few mins to ask what was going on, and fell into a discussion with one of the organisers about the protest and its aims. While the pamphlets they were distributing focused solely ob Irom Sharmila and the atrocities that have occurred because of the misuse of the AFSPA, the posters, slogans etc were all about repealing the Act. 

This again is a burning issue that i don't know how to take a stand on.

while people may label me a fascist, i understand why such wide powers of use of force and arrest are needed in an area where any harmless looking child may be carrying a bomb. but it is also a fact that such laws are used more to harass innocent civilians than what they are actually intended for. 

As a student of law i can't ignore the fact that such wide discretionary powers are an affront to our constitution. but i also know that such laws are necessary to protect the country and actually to protect teh very people they end up harming. 

Yes there are horrific stories of misuse.. but is anyone capable of imagining what the situation would've been like had our soldiers, who give up everything to stand up and protect us, had to deal with administrative red tape every time there was an emergency? what would happen if the soldier on the ground had to wait for instructions from a civilian who was safely ensconced in an office and making decisions about how to 'handle a situation'? 

its a brutal world that they live in. the soldiers AND the civilians who have to survive under teh shadow of guns. 

my painting

It’s the most magical place you would ever see.. full of books and flowers and mirrors and light.. of stories of beautiful princesses and their handsome princes and happily ever afters.. its got pictures of puppies and babies and all the pretty things you can imagine… its even got a beautiful wall made of glass.. a wall size mirror before which I preen and pretend to be the queen of my world..

It is my kingdom…

and its besieged by monsters…

it is the mirror behind which they  sit.. watching me, watching everything I do, I can never see the but I know they’re there.. talking among themselves but never talking to me..

 oh they think they're being nice to me..

they send me food and clothes and new clothes and other pretty things,

they don’t think I know where I am…

but I do

I remember all of it.. from before

I remember the knife that I twisted and watched the colour spread slowly across his body.. and then the floor

I remember the little fountain that burst out when I took it out from his chest

I remember being fascinated by the glistening red

and the way it felt on my fingers when I started to paint

I painted the walls with flowers and clouds and a heart

it was the most perfect heart ever.. perfect and red and gleaming

it was my most beautiful painting

but then I had to come live in this room

it has everything I could ever ask for

but the only people I ever see are the ones that aren’t really there

they never speak to me

they don’t touch me

and that’s when I want to run away from the mirrored room and hide

I hate them..

they don’t let me paint…. 

two roads diverged in a yellow wood.......

journalism. law. journalism. law. journalism. law....
i have less than six months to decide..

i have pros and cons lists
i have opinions of friends
i have inputs from parents...

and i cannot make up my freakin mind!!!!!
maybe.. as someone told me recently.. careermaking is as much by chance as by choice.

lost. found. lost

I see you
that mirage
the passing shadow whose source I cannot find

I know you
know not from where
 but every beat of my heart recognizes your footsteps

I can feel you
the whisper in the wind,
the tentative touch that I can’t ignore

I can hear you
in songs, stories, dreams, all my life, but have I ever even met you?

I wait
for the day I catch up to the rushing mirage
for the day the breath of a whisper turns to words
for the day I find you
and myself 

again