valentine

petals are strewn around the floor as i walk in..  flickering shadows in the corners of the room.. an involuntary gasp escapes my lips at the sight of all the red color..

"surprised?"
my husband's voice comes from behind the door.. my heart thuds in response...

"when did you get back?" i can hear the tremor in my voice..
he steps towards me.. i can feel my heartbeat pick up..

"does it matter?" his voice is low.. almost hypnotic
i cant summon the air to respond as he pulls me closer and his fingers entangle in my hair..

"i came back early coz i didnt want you to be alone on our first valentine's day as a married couple.. but i see you didnt miss me at all.."
the glint of the knife in the candlelight dazzles my eyes for a short second before i crumple to the floor.. right next to the bled out body of my lover...

har lamha kisi ki ankh se ek ansoo tapakta hai.. kabhi un ansuon ko hi zamin pe girne do.. shayad usi katre bhar paani se faslein lehleha uthein...

i dont know why i thought of this... droughts, farmers' suicides and rising prices in the country.. dad was ranting this morning about how some politicians and sugar barons are making money by hoarding food supplies...
its a crazy world...

does it help??

there's a new trend on facebook this week... for women to write the colour of their bra (or a colour they find interesting for a bra) as a symbol of awareness about breast cancer, as their staus message... admittedly, i have followed the trend.. but i do have a few reservations about it..

1. how many women who have written whatever they have on their profiles are ACTUALLY aware of what breast cancer is and how to check for it??

2. how many women who have changed their status messages actually know what the trend really is talking about? so many ppl might just be doing it coz their friends are..

3. has anyone seen how many boys are discussing this trend and making rather stupid, rather lewd comments about it????? like.. they're having a field da discussing women's underwear coz it seems like fun to them.. there are guys talking bout teh kind of colours that their friends have mentioned, guys asking bout styles and making stupid comments about how 'stimulating' discussions about styles of lingerie is... i mean... guys get a life!!!! its supposed to spread awareness about cancer!!!!

does this little facebook game really help??

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
well its nearly 4:30 am and the year's begun with a heck of  a lot of laughter and dancing.. considering what "they" say about the new year's eve.. i should have a fun new year ahead.. went for a big party tonight... again thanks to N.. we decided we'd be hanging out together no matter what we did this new year's and i got an extended invite to a party through her... it was quite an interesting experience..
amidst the bonfire and dancing and alcohol... there was an interesting interlude with two really drunken and rather silly young men who professed to be interested in flirting with us... as they tried to muscle in on dances and conversations.. we got a nightful of laughter and silly conversation.. here's to messieurs anand and anand who formed the main entertainmment on this new year's eve.. may you get a lot many more opportunities to talk ppl's ears off and leave them convulsing in laughter...

to everyone else... have an AMAZING new year people.. may 2010 bring all of god's grace on you all..
oh and a passing note to tinni... i had a longer conversation with cd tonight than i've had with you teh last coupla weeks... finish studying already... i miss you.. :(

have a fun new year all!! :)
love
annie

randomness...

there's news on the blogosphere..Indyeah is now engaged!!! the first blog- friend i made.. even though we havent really stayed in touch.. Congrats Indyeah!
ansh came to delhi for a few hours on 24th... thanks to the gods of connecting flights.. we met after bout 3 years but considering we talk atleast once a week it was as if he was never really gone.. missed you bro.... wish we could've hung out for longer...
upshot of the little reunion... max n i hung out for quite a while.. both on the school reunion and on 24th... it was fun... i'd forgotten how random our conversations in school really were..

speaking of school, the reunion was on 20th.. sweets, max, sasthi n i took a walk around the school, and it suddenly seemed a lot smaller than we remembered... and they've cut down half the trees that ringed the grounds and put railings where none were and bricked up teh back of the stage... oh and they've also changed the basketball court... though sweets said they had done it last year and i just didnt notice at the last reunion...
this reunion was a tad more boring than last year though... a lot of ppl who came last year didn't this year.. the post lunch drinks at sec 18 were not much fun for that reason... then we got into a discussion about drugs and what ppl are doing and how innocent we were at 16...
oh and MODI is engaged too!! first one in our batch as far as we know... certainly teh first among our friends.. made for a whole week of facebook comments when he announced it.. via fb status update ofcourse...

Four days left of 2009.. holidays are on so i'm pretty much spending the day sleeping in the sun and reading mills n boon romances... i'm SO addicted to them...

i feel like a lazy cat stretching in the sun... meow...

to friends and awkward questions..

"so.. why are you still single?"

i THINK it was meant as a random question.. possibly even a flattering one.. but somehow it hurt something inside... is it really so bad to be single?? i mean.. its been a while since i've been single but why is it so weird that i've kept the status??? i guess its flattering if ppl wonder why a "girl like me" is still single.. atleast i think they mean to be.. but why is it so necessary?? whats wrong with NOT wanting any entanglement?

recently, at a friend's birthday party N practically dragged me over to talk to some guy who apparently told her that he thought i was nice.. introduced us and then left me alone with him... that was embarrassing enough but to make it worse she gave me quite a talking to coz i didnt talk to the aforementioned guy for more than 5 minutes before escaping back to other friends.. n she was like.. how r u going to get over your past if u freeze out every guy who'se interested??

my question is... WHAT is so wrong with being single??
should i HAVE to hook up with the next guy who comes along???
why is single automatically linked to lonely?
why do people assume that my decision to keep this status means i'm not over my past?

no freakin way....

someone told me this line years ago... "the easiest way to get over someone is to get under someone else.."

I've never agreed with it..
and i dont want to have to prove my happiness by hooking up with any guy just so my friends stop worrying bout my sanity...
i'm fine ppl..
its not like my life and my happiness depends on having a boyfriend..

n thank you.. i love you for all the worrying you do about me..