i cant seem to keep myself from taking random pictures all the time now... have a look at the stuff i've done...
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
all of me...
you used to captivate me
by your resonating mind
now i'm bounded by the life
u left behind..
your face it haunts
my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away..
all of the sanity in me
these wounds wont seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just so much that time cannot erase................................
why is it that something can touch u so deeply that the imprint never goes away???????
i wish i knew.. i wish i could deal with so many wishes that crop up sometimes...
i wrote this poem in about 3 mins.. just coz a moment in time refuses to be lost in the shifting sands.....................
Silence
Eyes meet
lashes tremble
a thousand things at once
questions, answers, thoughts, betrayals
waiting
for an outlet....
throats tighten
lips stay numb
a raging torrent of emotions
a deafening silence.
Bodies stiffen
souls aflutter..
a lifetime passes in a moment
breath hangs motionless.....
a swirling vortex
a deafening silence.
by your resonating mind
now i'm bounded by the life
u left behind..
your face it haunts
my once pleasant dreams
your voice it chased away..
all of the sanity in me
these wounds wont seem to heal
this pain is just too real
there's just so much that time cannot erase................................
why is it that something can touch u so deeply that the imprint never goes away???????
i wish i knew.. i wish i could deal with so many wishes that crop up sometimes...
i wrote this poem in about 3 mins.. just coz a moment in time refuses to be lost in the shifting sands.....................
Silence
Eyes meet
lashes tremble
a thousand things at once
questions, answers, thoughts, betrayals
waiting
for an outlet....
throats tighten
lips stay numb
a raging torrent of emotions
a deafening silence.
Bodies stiffen
souls aflutter..
a lifetime passes in a moment
breath hangs motionless.....
a swirling vortex
a deafening silence.
Wednesday, August 09, 2006
looooooooooooong interval...
feels so good to let something outta ur system when uve been suppressing it for a long time... there were things that upset me.. but i never spoke them coz of this mental censor which told me i was being stupid n goin to jeopardise what i have....
i llearnt today that i can expect the same as i give to ppl.. i want to be told the exact truth.. to not be kept in the dark bout what's bothering the ppl i love... how silly of me not to think they'd want the same...
thank u angel.. for being by my side....
i llearnt today that i can expect the same as i give to ppl.. i want to be told the exact truth.. to not be kept in the dark bout what's bothering the ppl i love... how silly of me not to think they'd want the same...
thank u angel.. for being by my side....
Thursday, July 13, 2006
a chance meeting........
this post is specially to thank someone i've met only once in my life... we met online, talked bout a lot of things.... n met once... just a few days ago.... i have to thank u... coz unknowingly u showed me another side to myself....
i was never gutsy enough to just start talking to someone i didnt know.... u changed that.... it was fun, talking bout ppl we both know n things that we think of....i wasnt ever so free n open with anyone, not anyone i had just met... it was nice to be able to just have a good time without qualms or considerations. n thanks for ur help with my work....
hope we continue to stay in touch
i was never gutsy enough to just start talking to someone i didnt know.... u changed that.... it was fun, talking bout ppl we both know n things that we think of....i wasnt ever so free n open with anyone, not anyone i had just met... it was nice to be able to just have a good time without qualms or considerations. n thanks for ur help with my work....
hope we continue to stay in touch
Friday, June 09, 2006
wrote this long ago.... dont quite know why....
a core of pain inside me
an inexplicable sadness
nameless, numerous thoughts crowd my mind
bind
memories of pain n sorrow to my heart
make me fear
cry
dont know what or why
life seems unneeded
a sudden desire to die..
to fly
far away from the maddening crowd
a whirlpool of sounds, shapes
sigths, lights, voices
assaulting by senses
trapped in a vortex of black emotions
an emptiness inside me
a space that throbs with invisible emotions
bringing me to my knees with hurtthat clouds my mind n dulls my senses..
i hear childish voices risen in quarrel
the clink of utensils, mother in her kitchen
the rustles and roars of life outside my window
still.... a void inside
that spews out emotions
words pour out
to assuage a grief...
why do i feel it???
for thoughts that surface
then dive again
wishes that come to heart but remain unprayed for......
an inexplicable sadness
nameless, numerous thoughts crowd my mind
bind
memories of pain n sorrow to my heart
make me fear
cry
dont know what or why
life seems unneeded
a sudden desire to die..
to fly
far away from the maddening crowd
a whirlpool of sounds, shapes
sigths, lights, voices
assaulting by senses
trapped in a vortex of black emotions
an emptiness inside me
a space that throbs with invisible emotions
bringing me to my knees with hurtthat clouds my mind n dulls my senses..
i hear childish voices risen in quarrel
the clink of utensils, mother in her kitchen
the rustles and roars of life outside my window
still.... a void inside
that spews out emotions
words pour out
to assuage a grief...
why do i feel it???
for thoughts that surface
then dive again
wishes that come to heart but remain unprayed for......
Thursday, May 25, 2006
still goin....
the trip through old delhi isnt over yet..... so... where was i???
oh yeah.. i forgot...
before getting to the kullewala n my house, we went to see the temple of Shri Chitragupt- the scribe of Yama, the god of death... he is the patron deity of Kayasthas.. infact accordibg to the stories that expalin formation of castes... Kayasthas emerged from the body of this divine scribe... which is why the traditional occupations of Kayasthas, n Mathurs have been accounting, bookkeeping, law etc..
okay... now.. we had lunch at Bagichi.. Bedmi-aloo..n raita(dahi- curd with boondi in it) .. the uhm.. 'traditional' dish of dilliwala mathurs... though Kadhi-chawal were missed..
after the lunch break we went hrough to the Haveli where the great Mirza Ghalib spent his last few years.. to get to this haveli we went through this little lane called the "patli gali"..so named.. coz the lane is only wide enough for one nice fat person to go through at one time... so when two of my frenz decided that they wanted to take a picture of our whole group walkin along like a nice bunch of schoolkids, we inevitably created a traffic jam coz there were a lot more ppl waiting for their turn to cross over to the other side... before Mirza ghalib's old home we came across the building which ahd houssed the hindustani Dawakhana... an oooooold hospital... since we didnt stop to read the plaque i cant tell u what happened to it...
all through the trip we talked of the cultural history of the area and the architechtural changes.... in the havelis that we visited, the bickwork was specially pointed out to us... the small, thinner bricks belonging to the Mughal era interspersed with the bigger, wider bricks introduced by the British... the houses also used slabs of sandstone for rooofing, and at the base of the walls, and the stairs..at johnny bahiya's house we saw how the terraces of almost all houses are linked or atleast close enough for anyone to jump over from one house to another... he was telling us how kids run all over the neighbourhood via the terraces chasing after kites..
coming back to my narrative...
from mirza ghalib's haveli we went to Ballimaran.. this is another quarter of chandni chowk.. the name comes from the oooooold time colony of the fishermen and boatmen who used to live here.. they werre called Balli- marne wale- coz they used ballis- sticks is bamboo to row their boats, so their quarters came to be known as Ballimaran.. though now there is no boatman or even a waterway anywhere near the palce... the name, like most of old delhi, is a carryover from the time of Shahjahanabad as the city where the Mughal kings lived...
one thing that was a discordant note in the entire trip was our entry into Ballimaran.. in the british period, the entire area was divided into Hindu and muslim areas, and before u get to ballimaran from the other side, there is a gate, a metal structure clearly delineating the Hindu and the Muslim sections.. painted saffron and white on the hindu side and Green on the muslim side.... it felt like all the things said bou unity and equality to us mean nothing... there was no visible change in the scenery, but there was a psychological difference in the atmosphere of the two sections.. plus there were a lot more burqa- clad women on this side...i felt like asking someone whether we were still in Delhi.. but then, that is the old delhi which hasnt changed much in the hundreds of years of its existance..
from Bllimaran we went to a place called Katra Neel, where a number of freedom fighters were shot during the civil disobedience movement in 1942.. paradoxically, the biggest Haveli there, calledd Chunnamal ki haveli is one that was given as reward to a family for helping the British during the 1857 revolt...
we saw the Haveli too.. it is a massive place, with 135 rooms and a front sitting room decorated with a mix of Roman china figurines, british style photographs and sketches and Mughal- Rajputana style carvings.. it felt as if we had walked to through the portals of time.. exept for the new photographs of the family that were kept on the mantlepiece.. the cieling had a canpy-covering of rajasthani-print cloth, and beautiful painted- glass chandeliers.... even as we admired the place, the unfairness of it was stark... the beautiful Haveli gifted to the traitor was the backdrop of the killing of freedom fighters...
thereon was a short drinks break where we sampled the famous Kanchewali botal, or Banta as it is also known as... it is lemon juice and water mixed with a special masala which gives it a lovely refreshing taste.. two drinks eachand all of us found enrgy enoughto walk all the way through Kinari bazaar to Dariba Kalan- the the jewellery market... all through the way we must have passed a few hundered sari shops... mostly bridal and wedding wear... n there was a whole long lane of footwear shops. we passed through the famous Paranthe wali gali- where there are shops selling.. paranthas(wat else) and other things to eat.. but already being stuffed, we passed them by... we walked past the Central Baptist Church, and the Gurudwara Seesganj, both within 50 meteres of each other.. and then.. exhausted by the loooooooong day... we had Rasgullas at Annapurna and then sat down at Haldiram's restaurant to realx.... Kavita, Bhavika n Bhumika all bought Samosas n Kachoris to take home... i got Rasgullas from Annapurna...
after about 10minutes of rest time, it being almost 6 PM, we piled into autos to go back home....
the trip had begun at 1030 AM.
oh yeah.. i forgot...
before getting to the kullewala n my house, we went to see the temple of Shri Chitragupt- the scribe of Yama, the god of death... he is the patron deity of Kayasthas.. infact accordibg to the stories that expalin formation of castes... Kayasthas emerged from the body of this divine scribe... which is why the traditional occupations of Kayasthas, n Mathurs have been accounting, bookkeeping, law etc..
okay... now.. we had lunch at Bagichi.. Bedmi-aloo..n raita(dahi- curd with boondi in it) .. the uhm.. 'traditional' dish of dilliwala mathurs... though Kadhi-chawal were missed..
after the lunch break we went hrough to the Haveli where the great Mirza Ghalib spent his last few years.. to get to this haveli we went through this little lane called the "patli gali"..so named.. coz the lane is only wide enough for one nice fat person to go through at one time... so when two of my frenz decided that they wanted to take a picture of our whole group walkin along like a nice bunch of schoolkids, we inevitably created a traffic jam coz there were a lot more ppl waiting for their turn to cross over to the other side... before Mirza ghalib's old home we came across the building which ahd houssed the hindustani Dawakhana... an oooooold hospital... since we didnt stop to read the plaque i cant tell u what happened to it...
all through the trip we talked of the cultural history of the area and the architechtural changes.... in the havelis that we visited, the bickwork was specially pointed out to us... the small, thinner bricks belonging to the Mughal era interspersed with the bigger, wider bricks introduced by the British... the houses also used slabs of sandstone for rooofing, and at the base of the walls, and the stairs..at johnny bahiya's house we saw how the terraces of almost all houses are linked or atleast close enough for anyone to jump over from one house to another... he was telling us how kids run all over the neighbourhood via the terraces chasing after kites..
coming back to my narrative...
from mirza ghalib's haveli we went to Ballimaran.. this is another quarter of chandni chowk.. the name comes from the oooooold time colony of the fishermen and boatmen who used to live here.. they werre called Balli- marne wale- coz they used ballis- sticks is bamboo to row their boats, so their quarters came to be known as Ballimaran.. though now there is no boatman or even a waterway anywhere near the palce... the name, like most of old delhi, is a carryover from the time of Shahjahanabad as the city where the Mughal kings lived...
one thing that was a discordant note in the entire trip was our entry into Ballimaran.. in the british period, the entire area was divided into Hindu and muslim areas, and before u get to ballimaran from the other side, there is a gate, a metal structure clearly delineating the Hindu and the Muslim sections.. painted saffron and white on the hindu side and Green on the muslim side.... it felt like all the things said bou unity and equality to us mean nothing... there was no visible change in the scenery, but there was a psychological difference in the atmosphere of the two sections.. plus there were a lot more burqa- clad women on this side...i felt like asking someone whether we were still in Delhi.. but then, that is the old delhi which hasnt changed much in the hundreds of years of its existance..
from Bllimaran we went to a place called Katra Neel, where a number of freedom fighters were shot during the civil disobedience movement in 1942.. paradoxically, the biggest Haveli there, calledd Chunnamal ki haveli is one that was given as reward to a family for helping the British during the 1857 revolt...
we saw the Haveli too.. it is a massive place, with 135 rooms and a front sitting room decorated with a mix of Roman china figurines, british style photographs and sketches and Mughal- Rajputana style carvings.. it felt as if we had walked to through the portals of time.. exept for the new photographs of the family that were kept on the mantlepiece.. the cieling had a canpy-covering of rajasthani-print cloth, and beautiful painted- glass chandeliers.... even as we admired the place, the unfairness of it was stark... the beautiful Haveli gifted to the traitor was the backdrop of the killing of freedom fighters...
thereon was a short drinks break where we sampled the famous Kanchewali botal, or Banta as it is also known as... it is lemon juice and water mixed with a special masala which gives it a lovely refreshing taste.. two drinks eachand all of us found enrgy enoughto walk all the way through Kinari bazaar to Dariba Kalan- the the jewellery market... all through the way we must have passed a few hundered sari shops... mostly bridal and wedding wear... n there was a whole long lane of footwear shops. we passed through the famous Paranthe wali gali- where there are shops selling.. paranthas(wat else) and other things to eat.. but already being stuffed, we passed them by... we walked past the Central Baptist Church, and the Gurudwara Seesganj, both within 50 meteres of each other.. and then.. exhausted by the loooooooong day... we had Rasgullas at Annapurna and then sat down at Haldiram's restaurant to realx.... Kavita, Bhavika n Bhumika all bought Samosas n Kachoris to take home... i got Rasgullas from Annapurna...
after about 10minutes of rest time, it being almost 6 PM, we piled into autos to go back home....
the trip had begun at 1030 AM.
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