if i lay here.. would you lie with me and just forget the world..

if I were in a better mood, I’d look at that picture of the skinny young man sitting on a bench outside a staircase and that picture of the girl rushing down a stairwell as eager young lovers flying past the centimeters that lie between them and the seconds that it will take for them to be together

if I were in a more fluffy pink clouds and hearts and roses mood I’d see the bunching of her thigh muscles as she takes the stairs two- three a a time to run towards the light and the warmth of love, I’d see the eager anticipation of his wringing hands as he breathes in and out as her footsteps come closer

were I in a mood to wish upon stars and dream of happily ever afters I’d paint a picture of what happens at the end of the frames before me, when the eager young lovers finally see each other and embrace and kiss and drown in their euphoria of finally being reunited, even if they’d only separated for the length of time it may have taken her to fetch her bag from her room upstairs before they sneak out of the college hostel and go for that walk they have been thinking about.. the moment where they are away proclaiming their love to the world by writing their conjoined names in trees and in the sand and shouting from the rooftops and telling all and sundry how in love and how happy they are..

but I’m not…

hearts and flowers and shiny fluffy clouds and gamboling puppies and young love isn’t what I see here..

I see a man hunched over in defeat, I see a car that hasn’t seen its young owners come inside to drive around and kiss in,  I see an empty room and a lover waiting for someone who will not come.. and I see  a girl walking down the stairs, away from the darkness that is the house in all its suffocating glory, towards the light of the outside world, an escape…

how does one say "i love you"?

there are days when i have words and emotions pouring out of every breath i take, there are days when i am just so numb that i can't feel anything around me
there are days when the slightest breeze makes me gasp with joy, there are days when the clouds on the horizon seem to be there just to darken my day

and then there are days like yesterday when i get jolted out of my comfort zone and thrown in front of a mirror, to SEE just what i am and what i've done and not done
to notice the cracks and gasps and marks on what i thought was a slow peaceful boring disconnected life

what is family? what is love? how does one show how important someone is to you? is it only when you lose an illusion and realise that the people you take for granted are actually as fragile as glass and can be taken away from you in the space of a moment...
and yet i am silent.. coz i don't have any words to tell them how much they mean to me

Has anyone seen this show called 'PunarVivaah'?

Having grandparents at home guarantees that you will be exposed to those god-awful saas bahu sagas that run on TV all day.. I get fleeting glimpses of most of them since I tend to drift in and out of the living room at various points of the day..

Has anyone seen this show called ‘PunarVivaah” on Zee?? It started out as this progressive sounding show about a widower and a divorcee who get married to each other via an arranged marriage. It started out showing the heroine as this awesome independent woman who took care of her 4 year old son and her in-laws and took on the world with a hockey stick… and now the woman has been reduced to the caricature of the downtrodden Bahu in the home of her new husband, who incidentally is still so in love with his dead wife that they live in a room that is little more than a shrine to the dead girl.

lets recap the episode I saw today shall we…

• ·         The couple, plus their three Kids (one hers, two his) return from a holiday with the man in a towering temper for some unexplained reason.
• ·         The woman walks in crying, the man frowning, and the family is stunned and stares at them walking in
• ·         the man walks off somewhere, presumably work or whatever
• ·         the ENTIRE 20 member family, including elder brother and bhabi, Father and mother in law, little sister in law and aunt in law, alongwith the girl’s mother corral the girl in the drawing room and start asking her why their boy was so unhappy “when she had promised them she would make him happy.”
• ·         NO ONE of the gathered lot tries to comfort her in any manner whatsoever..
• ·         The mother in law gets into this whole “I will never trust you again coz you made my son unhappy” rant
• ·         meanwhile the poor heroine is literally on her knees on the floor in tears, begging them all to say that they trust her. She’s asking them all to listen to her, she’s begging them to understand that she hasn’t done anything to anger him or hurt him.
• ·         and then the MIL stalks off after giving her an earful.
• ·         and NO one questioned the man because he’s simply stalked off in anger.

what I don’t get is, does no one care about the fact that this woman is also desperately unhappy???? The in-laws treat her as some servant who is only there for their son’s sake. she can’t eat or wear or go anywhere as she pleases. She is no more than a nanny for the kids because that man refuses to accord her so much as the respect due to a wife. She is living in a room filled with pictures of another woman, who is remembered by the entire family as this paragon of perfection. She has to practically beg the family to even be allowed to live in the house. Her happiness of no import?

why is the man not asked a single question? why is it that the sole responsibility for the marriage working out on her??? why does NO ONE care that the injured party in the case is HER and not that man who simply shoved bags in a car and drove off?

and most importantly.. WHY the hell is the family interference limited to badmouthing her??? if they are so interested in scrutinizing their marriage, why do they not ever see that the man is doing nothing whatsoever to make his wife even feel comfortable and wanted?

why is it that TV shows simply reinforce these disgusting stereotypes? Why is it that the man can just do anything and the woman is so dependant on his approval for happiness that she has to grovel before the entire family to be allowed the right to live in her marital home? Why is it that the wife is blamed if the man is even slightly inconvenienced but no one raises an eyebrow at the fact that this man obviously wants nothing to do with her and is simply living in the past? She has gone through a hellish divorce, but no one has ever said that the guy should be trying to put a smile on her face just as she is made responsible for his happiness.

She is supposed to find contentment simply because she is married again?? why is no one asking the In laws about why they treat her with so much indifference?? even her own mother departs the house after some platitudes about how true love conquers all!!

She is supposed to be happy simply coz she has sindur on her forehead and her son has a “father” again?? even though her in- laws treat her so poorly and the husband is indifferent? just because he claims to “respect” her and lets her stay in his house??

She seemed much happier to me in the initial episodes. When she zipped around the city on a scooty, taking care of her son, assisting her parents in their business. taking down rude shopkeepers with sharp words and goondas with a wicked right hook.

hot cakes to hot potatoes

So this judge made a rather interesting observation today... "The questions raised by the arrest and detention of SM Kazmi will have repercussions on the entire judicial process that is being followed under the stringent Unlawful Activities Prevention Act"... No shit sherlock... I, a barely graduated law student cum rookie journo could've told you that....when the police and courts start taking decisions without clarifying points of law, somewhere or the other the lapses will come back to bite the entire system on its ass.

I wonder why the criminal justice system in this country is so messed up... on one hand you have police officers and lawyers who take money to bury cases of rape and murder, on the other hand you have overzealous or just plain careless prosecutors who come strutting to court without clearly figuring out just what their argument is going to be, on a different hand you have prosecutors who bludgeon their way through procedures and laws just because they're the "state" and can do no wrong.. another hand shows you judges who either don't care about what rules they're bending, or just let their exalted status inflate their egos and then refuse to hear any plea that's against their opinion. on yet another hand you have turf wars between the police departments, on yet another ego clashes between prosecution and judges.

any way you look at it, that is far too many hands groping around and sullying the criminal justice system of the country..
 

the curious case of SA Kazmi

so the law is either the written word or customary practice.. but what about when the written word is ambiguous and the practitioners are stumbling all over themselves to figure out what to do??? then we get the case of a man in Judicial custody being taken up and down the judicial ladder while judges all over the place try to assign authority to each other.
SA Kazmi was arrested under the provisions of the Unlawful Activities Prevention Act, the UAPA.He is currently in custody of the Delhi Police Special Cell. While I , and indeed the rest of teh world, don't know enough about the charges against him and the evidence available to even begin to hazard a guess about his guilt or innocence, the past couple of weeks have shown me that the Legal system in place to handle such special laws is quite seriously suffers from ambiguity and lack of clear authority structure.

The Police brought him before the Chief Metropolitan magistrate, the highest of the lowest rung of criminal judiciary. Then the Sessions court, which is the next rung on the said that the CMM does not have the power to hear cases under the UAPA. So the matter stood still for a while and then was heard by a Sessions court. Then the police decides to approach the High Court of Delhi, the highest judicial authority in the state. The high court decides to deliberate on the question of jurisdiction, and in the interim says that the prevailing practice i.e of bringing such cases before the CMM's court, should continue. The High court will now decide on the question in October.
Meanwhile, this man who has been in police custody for over three months is taken to four different courtrooms in the span of two days while judges remain confused. Is this really how a legal system with such a huge number of written statutes is supposed to work???

And he isn't the only person affected by this legal confusion, questions may be raised about the legality of the detention of others, including suspected terrorists allegedly belonging to the Indian Mujahideen and Lashkar -e - toiba, simply because the courts haven't decided who exactly is competent to hear cases of people arrested under the UAPA. If the High Court decides that the CMM never had jurisdiction, then the courts will be left with a fair amount of eggs on their faces, specially because the fate of terror suspects hangs in the balance.

the little blue stone thats taken up a corner of me

so you say that men and women can't be just friends,.. that the only reason you were around was because you thought you had a chance to get into my pants...
fuck you
i have far too many friends who negate your little stream of thought.. better peopler than you.
and i'm done feeling guilty for hurting you.


there was a time that i blamed myself for the mess that you were in... a time when i promised myself that i'll be there for you through everything.. just to make sure you didn't ge upset..
but now that i've seen what a coward you are..
i'm done

I'm done trying to figure out excuses for your behaviour.. when you choose to pklay the injured party despite knowing exactly where my affections lie..

done trying to invove you. contact you and try to retain a friendship that never was.

since you require a 'lip man' to say whatever it is that you don't have the balls top admit to my face, i'm gonna stop trying to get you to speak.

goodbye
i honestly thought we were better friends than this.