Sunday, October 02, 2011

a child is but clay.. life molds him any which way

I have been volunteering with the Juvenile Justice board's legal aid cell this past week and for the next couple of weeks.. and each day as i read more files, interact with more children, hear more of their stories and see the despair/defiance in their eyes, i come home wondering about the future of these children.. because they ARE children... 10-12 year old boys working with pickpocket gangs, 15 year olds convicted of rape, attempted murder, robbery...
and all because no one taught them better... these are children of parents who barely have time or energy to look after the child's mental and emotional welfare after working all day to ensure that there is food on the table.. most of them drop out of schools which are little more than overcrowded rooms with minimal teaching facilities.. they get introduced to substances like correction fluid, smack, ganja etc by adults/ other children who then gradually lead them to a life of crime.. t starts with petty thefts to feed the drug habit, and then graduates into grievous crimes including robbery and murder...

The law says that these children have to be treated not as criminals but as children who have lost their way.. "Juveniles in conflict with Law". there is an entire statute, the Juvenile Justice (care &protection) Act 2000 to ensure their safety and rehabilitation.. there is an elaborate system that has been envisaged on paper, that people are trying o bring into existence slowly.. legal aid, education, skill training etc are given to these children free of cost..
and yet the atmosphere in the Juvenile Justice Board room is that these children must have done something wrong coz they just belong to that kind of background.. i met a mother in the last few days who refused to take her child back from the observation home because she couldn't deal with his addiction or his constant clashes with the law.. i've seen a father ask the board to keep his son in the children's home in the hope taht his child will learn something good from the experience.. I've seen a little boy who barely look s10 years old be charged with theft, keeping stolen goods, and causing hurt with dangerous weapon... all this while the child in question stands around sullen or bewildered about what is happening

these children don't get security of a caring family, or education, or even protective friends..
thats why they take drugs and alcohol and indulge in antisocial and illegal activities.. i recently met a 15 year old drug and alcohol addict who had cut gashes on his entire arm with a blade to help him get a better high while drinking.. his father is an alcoholic and his mother passed away years ago.. he is now completely addicted coz there is no one to see him at home and there is no negative reinforcement of his criminal behaviour outside of  the court..

i wonder how different this boy's life would have been had both parents been there to help him and had actually given him a straight path....



Thursday, September 29, 2011

Insomnia

I dreamed of you last night
of promises made, and broken
of tears and lashing guilt
of a past that would never go away

i dreamed
of second chances given hundred times
of pain suffocated laughter
of unbridgeable chasms

of nightmares running in circles
of monsters chased
of cuts that throbbed
and pain that stayed

i dreamed
of a mirror i couldn't meet
of things unsayable

i dreamed of you last night
and in my dream
we came awake......

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

take a walk at dusk and this is the worst that can happen...

i have to leave this place
the walls, the stones, the trees, all so achingly familiar and just as painfully a trap.. this is where i'm left every single night after the day is done.. after the work is over, its time for everyone to go home and for me to return to this beautiful cage where memories live

some say i'm crazy to want to leave... its the most beautiful place.. full of magic, softness, stillness, memories... a place where i belong...
and yet it is the place i feel the most alone.. where things are always as they "were".. there's no 'are' or 'will be'

Monday, September 26, 2011

go back to your roots, find what makes you happy

it hit me yesterday while walking down that familiar, seldom used road.. how much i've left behind, how much of ME i've lost... strains of melodies on the wind tug me back to a happier person and a calmer life which went away with childhood games..

you were right... once you know what it is that you're missing you miss it all the more.. when you don't know quite what it is, atleast that aching emptiness is still formless and vague.. it can easily be put away for more important things.. knowing what is wrong makes you restless till you can actually have what you're missing.

we have got to have those songs back in our lives...


Sunday, September 18, 2011

jo bhi chaahe tu woh ban jaave



so i finally heard this song today... and these lyrics have made me fall in love with it!!






Tu hawa paani, aag hai
tu daga daani daag hai
jo bhi chaahe tu woh ban jaave re..


hai bana mera dil khuda 
hai khuda kab mujhse juda
khud ko dhoonde to usko paave re

the video is a bit weird coz katrina kaif does not look comfortable on the stage or with a guitar but i love her makeup and the overall look..
guess i will go watch this move after all.. if only for the music and sheer silliness of it... i need a funny movie to watch



Saturday, September 17, 2011

Break up season?


“we’re just not compatible”, “we fight so much, how can we work things out”, “this is not going to work out ya.. we have got to break up”
I’m hearing these sentences with alarming regularity these days… is it Break up season???

Somehow I’m playing agony aunt to people I never thought I would be having heartfelt conversations with… a friend’s girlfriend called me to tell me why they broke up and why it’s the best plan. A very close friend is trying to get rid of a guy who is rapidly turning into a stereotypical “crazy ex”... my favorite couple seem to be under major strains, and other assorted couples I know are not exactly as happy happy joy joy as I’m used to seeing them..  Couples all around seem to be having a hard time…
And for a change these days the AB and I have actually been having rational, grownup conversations… sure the rationality also told us that being a couple was the worst idea ever but atleast we did it after a hug and a sane conversation instead of a shouting match like all the other times we’ve gone down this road…

Seriously… is it breakup season??
I thought the monsoons were supposed to be this awesomely romantic time n all that jazz.. the long walks in the rain, the tea and conversation while the water pours against the windows, the long drives, cuddling up against the thunder and lightning… I know movie romances don’t really translate to reality but this is getting ridiculous…


Maybe its so messed up coz we're all trying to find happily ever afters outside of disney movies.. :(