where cats can be alive and dead, and wormholes are for people :)

A ‘what if' can create some completely insanely wonderful scenarios and ideas.. i’ve always been fascinated by fiction and science fiction since i was a kid.. i read Isaac Asimov novels in school and got pulled into comic books and was always surrounded by people who were heavily into ‘science-y’ stuff..  and i do read a lot.. whatever i can understand and assimilate and wrap my head around.. its astounding how much of what was once science fiction or mythology or ‘god-hood’ is now in the realm of reality, even if in not- practically- provable- theory part of reality..

Was watching this rather awesome program on Discovery Channel today about Stephen Hawking’s theories... reminded me of all the science fiction and star trek and comic books i’ve ever read.. all about timetravel and wormholes and quantum theories.. what made it doubly fun was that the brats were watching it with me and after a long time turned to me for explanation of what we were seeing.. its weird how my latent maternal instincts always come out when the brats ask questions.. questions they’re actually interested in knowing answers to... even though now that they’re 15 most of the time they already know a lot of things or dismiss half the things i say with curt scepticism.. but after quite a while today we were not only sitting and watching something together, i was as excited as they were and i actually had answers to things that they didn’t know...

Its funny how after a point science, science fiction, philosophy and religion seem to converge.. something as simple as ‘why is this a law of nature?’ is only answerable with a ‘because it IS’.. and the only answer to a ‘why’ after that ranges from an ‘I don’t know i’m not a theorist’ to ‘that is how god made it’...

Time travel, wormholes, speed and time, superman flying at faster than the speedof light to go back in time and prevent Lois Lane’s death, the USS Enterprise going warp speed through wormholes to cross immense distances, black holes and the time travel paradox, heck, Angels and demons had such a highly fictionalised account of the LHC and what matter- antimatter interaction would create..

I’ve spent this weekend watching the first two seasons of ‘Fringe’. Its a TV show thats aired in India on WB channel.. i got the first two seasons from a friend recently and have finished the firat season over the weekend and am 4 episodes into the second as of tonight.. i just might watch an episode or two before i go to sleep tonight as a matter of fact.. it is sooo much fun! Biochemistry, theoretical physics, nanotechnology, bio-physics, chemistry, its all there.. and its amazing how they’ve woven actual scientific theory with fiction and created such a beautifully moulded story... i mean, even though the essential story plot is strangely mundane.. what with governments and big multinationals using scientific discovery to prevent/provoke a war, people doing unethical things in the name of ‘greater good’ and a hero and heroine with seemingly limitless potential, bravery and strength taking on everyone, including the laws of nature and two universe-fulls of people.. and obviously they’re gonna fall for each other and then discover that they can’t stay together and there will be catastrophic events post which something or everything will end.. as will the series.. BUT.. the journey is so much more fascinating than the end and even the charted road.. coz its the things that happen WHILE the story of the protagonists plods along is what the series is really about.. they’re not just two people destined to fall in love and then fall apart, its more about what their worlds themselves are like.. their personal lives are hardly there in the story of each episode, their individual life, much like in real life, is just a foreground to the larger picture getting painted around them.. their individual existence is important only because they connect to the universe as essential components of it, the storyline doesn’t revolve around them, they work as small parts of the larger storyline..

And i ADORE the way they’ve dealt with the depiction of the ‘crazy scientist’ stereotype.. J

And yes, the lead guy IS rather cute :) 

things i wish weren't true

one can't compete with a ghost
a memory is always perfect
its useless to try and break bonds, loosening them and then slipping out is much easier..

its practically a perfect score.. 10/10.. or whatever number we're at.. my life seems to be in a loop sometimes.. even when  think i've broken out of one loop the straight- looking path I take suddenly curves in on itself..

maybe i should change the name of this blog to 'rants of a depressed soul'.. or 'blank'... that seems to be my most common theme lately.................................

never made it as a wise man....

creepy crawly

like the strangest darkest weirdest of things imagined and unimaginable except in that dream state where i'm wide awake and watching my fingers fly across the paper or the keyboard without consciously knowing where the sentence is going

thoughts burrow somewhere to surface like a mole or a mouse when i'm looking elsewhere and actually put it out of my mind.. then it scurries into my peripheral vision and i can do nothing but stare at it terrified till t chooses to go away leaving me fearful of its return

the rattle of a snake almost

an advance warning that something is there in your path, something that knows you when you don't know it

shadows that dance in the light changing form before you can identify it

this is how it comes creeping into my thoughts

its only when you lose everything that you're completely free to be yourself...

so we're already two days into 2011 and i'm enjoying the lazy sunday.. though i have tonnes of things-to-do lined up including straightening out my closet that has borne the brunt of being stuffed with everything i own in a hurry coz i wanted to leave for a new year's party.. i think i even stuffed a couple of my saris haphazardly into the shelf instead of hanging them as they should be.. but snuggling into a blanket is a much more appealing prospect :)

N n i ushered in the new year together again :) i think we've done that the last four years now.. this time would probably be the last though as she might not be in town next year.. though she did spend most of the night hanging out with her boyfriend and i spent it chatting and dancing with lots of ppl..


in the midst of that loud party however, the whiskey coursing through my veins and the hypnotic flames that were warming my feet took me into one of my I- have to write/type- this- down -right- now- moods. so this is what i typed in the haze and it actually surprises me that not only did i write this at all.. but i managed to not make too many typing errors. though i do suppose the T9 dictionary thats always on in my phone may be responsible for that..... its a little sad for something written at that time in that place.. i suppose sitting curled up alone by the fire with couples all around does that to one...

   it amazes me sometimes.. the sheer weirdness of the thoughts that erupt in flames. the red and gold of the flames reminds me of half- forgotten dreams as i stare into the fire with tongues of whiskey licking at my subconscious and dragging me to another world.. The warmth of the blazing embers takes me to a different word even as laughter and conversations of a thousand people surround me as the first light of a distant dawn breaks far over the horizon and beckons me into a dream.. a dream in which this fire draws me closer to its warmth and security.. a dream where the buzzing conversations retreat into the background and allow me to disappear into a new world of sensation.. a world where the bright lights from a passing car throw shadows of dreams across my conscious mind.. where i no longer feel alone in the cold but feel one with the world around me...

..................................................

on a completely unrelated note.. i finally watched Fight Club after several recommendations.. its a fascinating, albeit insane storyline.. its absolute chaos to the point that identity is lost..  chaos tightly controlled by a plan born out of insane denial of one's own thoughts.. scary as all hell if u really think about it.. 

goodbye decade....

i remember being almost 13 years old and being spooked by the whole Y2K bug rumour.. i remember pressing my nose against the window and looking out as the fireworks celebrated the start of a new millenium..
i can feel the years fold back as i reminisce right now.. i don't even know why i am writing an 'end of the year' kind of blogpost.. but my fingers are dancing around the keyboard and i can hardly stop the process once it begins....
so here's to a farewell to teenage, college, to the beginning of growing up..
to a decade full of experiences who have now made me the woman who will live the next few decades of my life..
to love and laughter and friends.. to tears and bruises and dusting off the mud and getting up again..
to the decade thats gone by and to what i hope will be a new phase of life..

farewell 2010..

and i wish a great new year to everyone!