death of romance

“Those who can’t do, teach, and those who can’t wed, Plan”..  said Jennifer Lopez in the Wedding Planner.. but what do you do when you get the most impossible people to plan for????

Since the demise of romance from my life ive taken vicarious pleasure from my friends’ love lives.. playing agony aunt, messenger and on occasion couple counsellor.. yes i know, i don’t have a life... thank you very much for noticing. But this rant isn’t so much about me as about a certain stubborn ass idiot who has been chucking all my planning to the bin...

I have a dear friend who is about to reach a milestone in his relationship.. and he’s asked me to help him with ideas for D Day.. i’ve been pulling out everything i’ve got.. and yet.. nada. 
The boy likes NOTHING! 
I mean.. every single idea i have is either too cheesy or too boring or silly or expensive or plain too much trouble...

 ive suggested everything from a simple bouquet (too cheesy) to a full blown grand meal for two at a nearby resort (too far to drive) i’m so out of ideas and out of temper! I’ve dug through memory and movies and conversations and plain logic of eliminating everything they’ve already done.. and every conversation ends with me going %^&$%&^£$%$% and him going.. “c’mon you’re my friend you have got to help me out here”

i wanna shoot him! Or tell his girlfriend that she’s dating an imbecile! 

ajeeb dastan hai yeh...

its weird how life can simply keep curving in on itself till you feel like you're caught in a never ending loop..
this year was supposed to be different..and yet it is uncannily the same.. confusion and acrimony, fights, sleepless nights, indecipherable signals, boredom and lack of direction..

but my life seems so different on the face of it..

................................

so here's the things i WANT to accomplish this year.

1. go for an international moot.. even if we just do the regional rounds for lack of money.
2. sleep without first needing to shut my body down with physical exhaustion.
3. go for a trip with friends
4. get my family to go for a day out without any dramas involved
5. get an article published in a legal journal.
6. stop living in the past.

things change.. things end, things begin.. what you once thought was gospel truth shows grey in the light of a new day.. where there was a void a seed sprouts..
days and months and years pass.. yet when i look in the looking glass
all i see is a little girl looking
for something thats changed

life can sometimes just BE.. when you're not really paying attention something momentous happens and all you can really do is deal with the curveball.. or accept the gift.

yeh lamhaa jee lene de...

Ai zindagi yeh lamha jee lene de…

Pehle se likha.. kuch bhi nahi.. roz naya kuch likhti hai tu…

Jo bhi likha hai dil se jiya hai yeh lamha… filhaal jee lene de…

I want it all.. I guess I really do

The chance to dream, to fly, to experience life as I’ve never known..

Maybe I just don’t know who I am anymore… maybe things will just snap back into place as suddenly as they fell into disarray..

Who knows where life can take us.. who ever knows whats coming next.. its all we can ever do to live the moments that we’re allowed…

HOLY COW! gai machchi kaise kha sakti hai?????

in the throes of laughter with friends with the haze of cigarette smoke clouding my eyes.. sitting on a stone chabutara at D-school on a rather lovely cloudy afternoon.. i saw something rather startling today...
a cow munching on a fish carcass..
or so the caption beneath the picture says...


i think i laughed for about 10 minutes post which we had a rather lively discussion about why the holy being descended to that level.. in CAPITAL letters below a half page sized picture of a cow with a wierd looking brown thing in its mouth, was captioned thus

A COW feeding on a carcass of a "magur"(a black african fish) from the dried lake bed in Sultanpur bird sanctuary near Delhi. The lake is lifeline of the sanctuary's avian and aquatic residents and is also home to bluebulls and blackbucks. (sic)

a bigger red coloured tag under the picture said "DRY DAZE"

so we all had a merry debate on whether my confusion was an unwelcome comment on the freedom of choice of food for an independent-minded cow.
or if its now going to be acceptable for devoutly vegetarian Hindus to eat fish because gau- mata has been seen to be enjoying a machchi..
whether the photographer had simply gotten the wrong idea and the conscientious cow was merely carrying away the abandoned dead body of the fish to a final resting place.

the jury's still out, and my friends have threatened violence if i continue to talk about this picture. hence the blogpost.


my apologies to tiny, rave, sj, shru n bt... i can just NOT get over the sheer wierdness of that picture.

my apologies to any hapless readers patient enough to sit down n read this entire thing without being able to see the picture thats got me so confused.. you will have to wait a few days for my PC to start working coz as usual i'm using the college comps... you could ofcourse buy/borrow/steal the India Today July 5 edition and turn to page 13 to see what the fuss is all about.

unfinished...

"i feel like talking.. thats why i called"
"just like that? "
"yeah.. if.. thats okay"
"uh.. yeah ofcourse.. i mean.."
"oh.. u were busy.. sorry.. i'll let you get back to your work..."

dial tone..

"damn... why didnt i just be civil?? i didnt have to talk to her.. annoying woman that she is.. anyway.. tonnes of work.. damn it.."
.......
rriiiinnnggg
her again? uggh...
"hello?"
"hello? hi do you know who this phone belongs to?? "
the voice was male.. a guy??? on her phone??
"umm.. who is this?"
"you are the last dialled number on this phone.. do you know who this phone belongs to??"
the voice sounded unnaturally loud.. she could also hear traffic in the background..
"er.. yes i do know her. but who are you and what are you doing with her phone??"
"i... i. need help.. this girl just almost jumped in front of my car.. i'm calling from _____ i'm taking her to teh hospital right now. can you please inform her family??? her screen smashed so i cant find any other numbers..."
"oh.. uh.. i .. yes i will. what hospital will you take her to?"

she stared at the phone for a few seconds once she hung up.. contact the family? she knew of teh family surely.. they'd been friends for a while.. surely someone would know.. she called other friends..
"do u know ____'s home number?? she just had an accident.."
"no.. maybe __ does.."
"can you call around and check with others??"
"'kay"
...........

why she was at the hospital she didnt quite know.. perhaps because she'd been the last to have heard from her. it had been a harrowing few hours.. family had been traced.. called. it had been a wierd call to make..

she was finally awake..
"hey.. how are you feeling?" thats such an inane question.. why did i even say that?
she started crying...
"i 'm sorry for all that trouble.. i didnt know what else to do... just felt like i couldnt live anymore.. there was no one who would care.. so.."

wait.. WHAT are you trying to say?? you actually jumped on that road?  it really wasn't an accident?