you know u're living in a dream world..
when you dont know how to react to situations...
when something makes you want more in your heart but your mind says no..
when the caress of the wind makes you crave for someone. when you know that it cant be...
sleep is a luxury... dreams overwhelm your senses...
one too many fantasies spin in your head...
Monday, March 02, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Land down under
In the middle of all serious discussions about life and womanhood... i decided to take a break and listen to some music... then in a fit of utter randomness decided to play this silly facebook game... the note on facebook has utterly differnt songs.. coz that was played on my I pod... THIS is courtesy my winamp playlist... i have quite a weird collection of music.. some of which i havent listened to in years..
RULES:1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 10 friends (make me #11 so I can see your results).
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!
Questions:
IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Kuch khushbuein (Phir milenge)
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
It must have been love- Roxette
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
For whom the bell tolls- Metallica
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
ishq kabhi kariyo na
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
How bizarre-
WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
waada raha
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Hui main parineeta- Parineeta
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Hush- deep purple
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
missing- evanescence
WHAT IS 2 + 2?
love of the loveless- the Eels
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
With you- Linkin Park
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
One love- Blue
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Everything I do- Bryan Adams
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Ab to aa (RaagBhoop) - Kumar Gandharva
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
naina na mane mora (kumar gandharva)
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
sexy eyes- whigfield ( yes.. I DO still have this song on my computer)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
by myself- linkin park
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
who lamhe who batein- aadat
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Papa don’t preach- madonna
WHAT WILL YOU NAME THIS NOTE?
Land down under- men at work
WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Jaadu hai nasha hai
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Boulevard of broken dreams- Green Day
well.. what can i say.. i have a lot more songs on winamp than i do on my ipod shuffle...
RULES:1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle.
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag 10 friends (make me #11 so I can see your results).
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!
Questions:
IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY?
Kuch khushbuein (Phir milenge)
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
It must have been love- Roxette
WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
For whom the bell tolls- Metallica
HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
ishq kabhi kariyo na
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
How bizarre-
WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
waada raha
WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Hui main parineeta- Parineeta
WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Hush- deep purple
WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
missing- evanescence
WHAT IS 2 + 2?
love of the loveless- the Eels
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
With you- Linkin Park
WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
One love- Blue
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Everything I do- Bryan Adams
WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Ab to aa (RaagBhoop) - Kumar Gandharva
WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
naina na mane mora (kumar gandharva)
WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
sexy eyes- whigfield ( yes.. I DO still have this song on my computer)
WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
by myself- linkin park
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
who lamhe who batein- aadat
WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
Papa don’t preach- madonna
WHAT WILL YOU NAME THIS NOTE?
Land down under- men at work
WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
Jaadu hai nasha hai
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Boulevard of broken dreams- Green Day
well.. what can i say.. i have a lot more songs on winamp than i do on my ipod shuffle...
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Bloody HELLL!!!!!!!!!!
this is teh backlash i was talking about... uneducated chauvinist frustrated men targeting women just because they war 'western outfits' or step out of the house alone...
http://www.hindu.com/2009/02/26/stories/2009022658410300.htm
http://www.babajob.com/person.htm?user=10041
http://shobhaade.blogspot.com/2009/02/must-read-must-help.html
http://thepinkchaddicampaign.blogspot.com/2009/02/attacks-on-women-in-bangalore.html#comments
someone ask these bastards of the taliban if tehy would give up their motorbikes and cars and go back to wearing dhoti kurtas or lungis... if 'westernisation' is what they hate... why the heck are they wearing jeans and riding bikes and cars????
the worst is that no bystanders,... NO ONE comes to help....
http://www.hindu.com/2009/02/26/stories/2009022658410300.htm
http://www.babajob.com/person.htm?user=10041
http://shobhaade.blogspot.com/2009/02/must-read-must-help.html
http://thepinkchaddicampaign.blogspot.com/2009/02/attacks-on-women-in-bangalore.html#comments
someone ask these bastards of the taliban if tehy would give up their motorbikes and cars and go back to wearing dhoti kurtas or lungis... if 'westernisation' is what they hate... why the heck are they wearing jeans and riding bikes and cars????
the worst is that no bystanders,... NO ONE comes to help....
With the race to the General elections in India heating up, there are so many things that people say.. for or against parties, candidates, policies et al... the truth remains taht a huuuuuge number of our policymakers are corrupt, inefficient, and worse, criminals..
saw a nice post by IHM on how people should vote for those candidates who have clean records..
http://lifeofanindianhomemaker.blogspot.com/2009/02/this-can-become-turning-point.html
Plus the lok sabha speaker himself raised concern about the fact taht many MPs do not participate in the House proceedings...
http://news.outlookindia.com/item.aspx?654730
AND Told lok sabha members that they didn NOT deserve to sit in the parliament...
http://www.hindustantimes.com/StoryPage/StoryPage.aspx?sectionName=Cricket&id=f939ab3b-a24f-40c6-8f8b-bf7c5872c5fc&&Headline=Speaker+raps+%e2%80%98unruly%e2%80%99+MPs%2c+adjourns+House
then a senior editor in the Indian Express put together an editorial which essentially says that parliamentarians aren't doing any work and wasting time in useless arguments...
http://www.indianexpress.com/news/they-the-people/428072/
makes me wonder who teh heck to vote FOR?????? personally i think Dr. manmohan Singh, Pranab Mukherji and P. Chidambaram are few of the rare honest guys in Indian politics... unfortunately they come with the baggage of dynastic politics with a little prince in teh wings, and kinhgs of corruption like Lalu and Amar Singh in tow.... the alternatives are a money guzzling princess who shoots people if they dont contribute to her coffers while claiming to represent some people she has lost all contact with, and an ageing man who thinks he can revive hindutva in all its terrible glory...
and this is just the top layer... as you go down to the grassroots layers, u'll find representatives of gangs, land mafia, musclemen, spoiled businessmen, people with casese of looting, murder, rape, assault et al... the few good men and women seem to suffocate somewhere under teh weight of the corrupt system... so what is a voter to do???? vote for the few rare good guys in the hope that they will not get cowed down eventually... or.. excercise the right to a negative vote,...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/49-O
which unfortunately is NOT a secret ballot, potentially opning doors to harassment by the political goons who will happily identify and threaten those who cast these negative votes...
because unfortunately, if the voter does NOT go to vote.. the candidate who recieves the maximum number of votes from the miniscule lot who are coerced into voting for them... wins.. and tehn tey can easily say that they represent their voters...
which is why teh MPs won't agree to abolish rule 49 O and continue to argue against adding a none of teh above option to the EVMs and ballot papers.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/EDITORIAL-COMMENT--None-Of-The-Above/rssarticleshow/4183965.cms
elections are in May...
and there dont seem to be any decent candidates with clean records around....
Heaven help this country..
saw a nice post by IHM on how people should vote for those candidates who have clean records..
http://lifeofanindianhomemaker.blogspot.com/2009/02/this-can-become-turning-point.html
Plus the lok sabha speaker himself raised concern about the fact taht many MPs do not participate in the House proceedings...
http://news.outlookindia.com/item.aspx?654730
AND Told lok sabha members that they didn NOT deserve to sit in the parliament...
http://www.hindustantimes.com/StoryPage/StoryPage.aspx?sectionName=Cricket&id=f939ab3b-a24f-40c6-8f8b-bf7c5872c5fc&&Headline=Speaker+raps+%e2%80%98unruly%e2%80%99+MPs%2c+adjourns+House
then a senior editor in the Indian Express put together an editorial which essentially says that parliamentarians aren't doing any work and wasting time in useless arguments...
http://www.indianexpress.com/news/they-the-people/428072/
makes me wonder who teh heck to vote FOR?????? personally i think Dr. manmohan Singh, Pranab Mukherji and P. Chidambaram are few of the rare honest guys in Indian politics... unfortunately they come with the baggage of dynastic politics with a little prince in teh wings, and kinhgs of corruption like Lalu and Amar Singh in tow.... the alternatives are a money guzzling princess who shoots people if they dont contribute to her coffers while claiming to represent some people she has lost all contact with, and an ageing man who thinks he can revive hindutva in all its terrible glory...
and this is just the top layer... as you go down to the grassroots layers, u'll find representatives of gangs, land mafia, musclemen, spoiled businessmen, people with casese of looting, murder, rape, assault et al... the few good men and women seem to suffocate somewhere under teh weight of the corrupt system... so what is a voter to do???? vote for the few rare good guys in the hope that they will not get cowed down eventually... or.. excercise the right to a negative vote,...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/49-O
which unfortunately is NOT a secret ballot, potentially opning doors to harassment by the political goons who will happily identify and threaten those who cast these negative votes...
because unfortunately, if the voter does NOT go to vote.. the candidate who recieves the maximum number of votes from the miniscule lot who are coerced into voting for them... wins.. and tehn tey can easily say that they represent their voters...
which is why teh MPs won't agree to abolish rule 49 O and continue to argue against adding a none of teh above option to the EVMs and ballot papers.
http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/EDITORIAL-COMMENT--None-Of-The-Above/rssarticleshow/4183965.cms
elections are in May...
and there dont seem to be any decent candidates with clean records around....
Heaven help this country..
Sunday, February 22, 2009
romancing the unknown
well... the title may seem like a sweet story... but its not...
depends on your point of view really..
On saturday night a few friends from work decided to go out for a few drinks and dinner. I tagged along.. more like coerced by SD, who is a great friend.. and tries to involve me in office social life a lot.. according to her i live a rather boring life... anyway.. so we went..
had our couple of drinks at this place called THUGS in Daryaganj.. nice place actually.. its in the Broadway theatre right next to delite cinema in Daryaganj, and is nicely decorated in the theme of 'Villains in Indian Cinema' so we sat amidst large paintings of Amrish Puri, Ajit, LOIN, Gabbar singh, shakti kapoor, prem chopra et al.... red walls and lighting on teh dimmer side of bright.. it was quite nice.. Dinner was at the restaurant named Chor Bizarre downstairs. now THAT is one lavishly decorated place.. we were frankly tempted to steal some of the gorgeous metal jewellery on display under the glass of the dining table...
anyway,... this is not supposed to a paean about my dinner.. its what happened in teh middle of it.. SD, who is quite a smoker, wanted to take a sutta break between drinks and dinner while we waited for our biryani... two more of our party accompanied her... 10 minutes later, i went out to get them coz teh food had arrived. while the four of us, (two women and two men) stood outside, a bunch of 'sportsie jaat boys' types arrived and stood staring at us for a few seconds.. one in particular, a tall, rather blank looking guy, kept staring, till finally i got irritated and dragged my companions back inside.. no one lse had noticed them.. perhaps because tehy had their backs to the boys.. (the two men accompanying us being senior photographers, one well over 50, i didnt want to bring the 'jaat boys' to their notice.. dont ask me why.. i just didnt want to create a scene at 11 pm..
well.. so we troop back inside, finish our biryani, and walk out again coz SD and I had to get home 'early' while the elders had a longer night out... a senior accompanied us to make sure we get an auto n all that.. the 'boys' were still standing outside the restaurant!!! and that tall guy was STILL freakin staring at us.. though he was on the phone.. anyway.. as has been drilled into me from years of battling the 'male gaze' i ignored the guy n got into the auto.....
as i climbed in and the auto started to move, the guy threw something at me.. at first i YELLED!!!! "$%&$%@&$%#&%$%#!!!!!
then realised what it was... a piece of paper. with his name and phone number written on it!!!
i started laughing like a maniac.. SD, who had been oblivious to the very presence of any such members of the male species, owing to her having had a tad more drinks than i did.. got rather startled when i suddenly screamed.. and then wanetd to read the note... we couldn't ofcourse, due to the lack of light in the auto...
i could sort of make out what looked like an N right in the beginning of the name.. and then my irritation made me tear up the paper and throw it out... amidst howls of protest from SD who thought that it was the most hilarious thing ever.....
well.. depends on your point of view i guess.. sure, the guy never made any inappropriate remarks.. none that were audible to me anyway... they actually whispered amongst themselves like little girls and stared at us... and averted their eyes if i looked at them in return.. maybe i shouldnt convert this into a rant against men in general.. coz despite their physique... i dont think these were the kind of guys who had teh b^&*s to actually TALK to a girl... they were in all liklihood a bunch of repressed little boys from a rather old fashioned section of old delhi who had to look around before they actually said hello to a girl in their neighbourhood....
so i guess i can laugh it off.. heck.. i could probably add this to the list of 'men who tried to hit on me'... even though i dont know what that boy's name was...
the funny thing is.. it was the whole idea of this man writing his number and name on a piece of paper and throwing it at me... i thought that only happened in saudi arabia where boys are not allowed to even look at a girl, much less talk to her... there was infact a story about boys going 'numbering' in saudi arabia, in New york times a few days ago...
http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/05/13/out-with-the-boys-for-a-night-of-numbering/?scp=1&sq=NUmbering&st=cse
it is quite funny to a girl who is used to rather overt forms of attention seeking behavior from known and unknown men... though i guess its enough to irritate, startle, and if so inclined.. scare a girl...
depends on your point of view really..
On saturday night a few friends from work decided to go out for a few drinks and dinner. I tagged along.. more like coerced by SD, who is a great friend.. and tries to involve me in office social life a lot.. according to her i live a rather boring life... anyway.. so we went..
had our couple of drinks at this place called THUGS in Daryaganj.. nice place actually.. its in the Broadway theatre right next to delite cinema in Daryaganj, and is nicely decorated in the theme of 'Villains in Indian Cinema' so we sat amidst large paintings of Amrish Puri, Ajit, LOIN, Gabbar singh, shakti kapoor, prem chopra et al.... red walls and lighting on teh dimmer side of bright.. it was quite nice.. Dinner was at the restaurant named Chor Bizarre downstairs. now THAT is one lavishly decorated place.. we were frankly tempted to steal some of the gorgeous metal jewellery on display under the glass of the dining table...
anyway,... this is not supposed to a paean about my dinner.. its what happened in teh middle of it.. SD, who is quite a smoker, wanted to take a sutta break between drinks and dinner while we waited for our biryani... two more of our party accompanied her... 10 minutes later, i went out to get them coz teh food had arrived. while the four of us, (two women and two men) stood outside, a bunch of 'sportsie jaat boys' types arrived and stood staring at us for a few seconds.. one in particular, a tall, rather blank looking guy, kept staring, till finally i got irritated and dragged my companions back inside.. no one lse had noticed them.. perhaps because tehy had their backs to the boys.. (the two men accompanying us being senior photographers, one well over 50, i didnt want to bring the 'jaat boys' to their notice.. dont ask me why.. i just didnt want to create a scene at 11 pm..
well.. so we troop back inside, finish our biryani, and walk out again coz SD and I had to get home 'early' while the elders had a longer night out... a senior accompanied us to make sure we get an auto n all that.. the 'boys' were still standing outside the restaurant!!! and that tall guy was STILL freakin staring at us.. though he was on the phone.. anyway.. as has been drilled into me from years of battling the 'male gaze' i ignored the guy n got into the auto.....
as i climbed in and the auto started to move, the guy threw something at me.. at first i YELLED!!!! "$%&$%@&$%#&%$%#!!!!!
then realised what it was... a piece of paper. with his name and phone number written on it!!!
i started laughing like a maniac.. SD, who had been oblivious to the very presence of any such members of the male species, owing to her having had a tad more drinks than i did.. got rather startled when i suddenly screamed.. and then wanetd to read the note... we couldn't ofcourse, due to the lack of light in the auto...
i could sort of make out what looked like an N right in the beginning of the name.. and then my irritation made me tear up the paper and throw it out... amidst howls of protest from SD who thought that it was the most hilarious thing ever.....
well.. depends on your point of view i guess.. sure, the guy never made any inappropriate remarks.. none that were audible to me anyway... they actually whispered amongst themselves like little girls and stared at us... and averted their eyes if i looked at them in return.. maybe i shouldnt convert this into a rant against men in general.. coz despite their physique... i dont think these were the kind of guys who had teh b^&*s to actually TALK to a girl... they were in all liklihood a bunch of repressed little boys from a rather old fashioned section of old delhi who had to look around before they actually said hello to a girl in their neighbourhood....
so i guess i can laugh it off.. heck.. i could probably add this to the list of 'men who tried to hit on me'... even though i dont know what that boy's name was...
the funny thing is.. it was the whole idea of this man writing his number and name on a piece of paper and throwing it at me... i thought that only happened in saudi arabia where boys are not allowed to even look at a girl, much less talk to her... there was infact a story about boys going 'numbering' in saudi arabia, in New york times a few days ago...
http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/05/13/out-with-the-boys-for-a-night-of-numbering/?scp=1&sq=NUmbering&st=cse
it is quite funny to a girl who is used to rather overt forms of attention seeking behavior from known and unknown men... though i guess its enough to irritate, startle, and if so inclined.. scare a girl...
Thursday, February 19, 2009
blue....
Everything in life had taught her that trust is a very precious thing... and also the most fragile.. she had seen people broken and bleeding because they had trusted someone enough to turn their back to them...
"never show your back to anyone.. first rule of combat. you can get shot, stabbed or imprisoned.. Understood?"
"SIR YES SIR"
she had understood.. and yet she had been unable to resist him...
"just trust me.. thats all.. i will never ask you to do something you dont want to.."
Bruised and bleeding.. she had stumbled out from the room... still wondering how things had gone so terribly wrong..
"I will never let myself depend on anything again".. the mirror mocked her.. showing the bruises, the hurt in her eyes, the tracks the tears had made...
she squared her shoulders...
the scars burned... she doubled up in pain...
she turned in the dark.. to the man lying next to her.. "stop thinking so much.. everything will solve itself"..
cold air came through the open widow and she shivered... "i'll keep you warm.."
"want me to warm you up?"
the shivers intensified..
convulsions.. trouble breathing.. cant think!!!!!
she ran from the bed...
"let me help you.. let me heal you.. i know you can if you just let go..."
a stone fell in her lap.... small. blue.. gleaming in the sunlight...
"it will let you see what the other one sees"
"i cant be there so i'm leaving you a keepsake... throw it away if u dont want it... i wont mind.. i just wanted you to have it.. its yours now.."
darkness.. she turns.. the bed is empty..
shadows dance around her......
she wakes.. steps away from the bed...
moonlight streams in through the curtains...
outside.. lights twinkle in the distance... the wind whips by.. distant lights going farther away...
he'd found his calling... gone away with the promise of returning someday....
if she wanted him..
the war would age him.. it would in a curious way heal him...
"will you pray for me??" "every day"
"never show your back to anyone.. first rule of combat. you can get shot, stabbed or imprisoned.. Understood?"
"SIR YES SIR"
she had understood.. and yet she had been unable to resist him...
"just trust me.. thats all.. i will never ask you to do something you dont want to.."
Bruised and bleeding.. she had stumbled out from the room... still wondering how things had gone so terribly wrong..
"I will never let myself depend on anything again".. the mirror mocked her.. showing the bruises, the hurt in her eyes, the tracks the tears had made...
she squared her shoulders...
the scars burned... she doubled up in pain...
she turned in the dark.. to the man lying next to her.. "stop thinking so much.. everything will solve itself"..
cold air came through the open widow and she shivered... "i'll keep you warm.."
"want me to warm you up?"
the shivers intensified..
convulsions.. trouble breathing.. cant think!!!!!
she ran from the bed...
"let me help you.. let me heal you.. i know you can if you just let go..."
a stone fell in her lap.... small. blue.. gleaming in the sunlight...
"it will let you see what the other one sees"
"i cant be there so i'm leaving you a keepsake... throw it away if u dont want it... i wont mind.. i just wanted you to have it.. its yours now.."
darkness.. she turns.. the bed is empty..
shadows dance around her......
she wakes.. steps away from the bed...
moonlight streams in through the curtains...
outside.. lights twinkle in the distance... the wind whips by.. distant lights going farther away...
he'd found his calling... gone away with the promise of returning someday....
if she wanted him..
the war would age him.. it would in a curious way heal him...
"will you pray for me??" "every day"
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