there is no such thing as forever

depressed.. yes.. about what?? donno
why?? lets just say the homecoming wasnt as i thought it would be.. the first touch the first kiss.. all rather tame in comparison to all that i had dreamt of in the loong days of being alone.. u know how it is right.. u build up something soooo much in your imagination that the real thing seems pale..

why is it that the songs go on and on about a happily ever after...?? telling tales of how even after years and years.. the lovers fall right into each other's arms and proceed to be happy for the rest of their lives...
what no one mentions is how things change.. how everything changes so much that you dont know what to do or say or think...
when your perfect life seems suddenly to have collapsed like a pack of cards and you dont know how to put it back together.. when the new creation is not what u had built in the first place.. and you dont know if this will stand either..

when nothing seems to comfort you anymore... except solitude..
i once sat atop a high cliff wanting to jump away from my solitude.. now the silence comforts me somehow.. being in my own head doesnt feel like i'm trapped..
talking to myself isnt quite as bad as it used to be...

dare i say.. this too shall pass???

i loved this book once.. for the hope, the surety of love that it portrayed... "A Bridge across forever" .. no matter how circumstances change.. "the one" for you will always be there...

why are there so many lies in this world??? why does nothing remain sacred and true??

why does hope get crushed again and again till you begin to wonder if there was any point in having dreams at all...

Love stories and love songs.. "endless love"...

what the fuck is forever anyway???????

doodh ka jala chach bhi phoonk phoonk kar pita hai..

why is it that sometimes things get so bad that even thinking about it hurts??
that a casual mention can leave you gasping for breath...
that you cant explain to yourself why something bugs you so much when there i no concrete reason to..
logic cant always answer every question.. and things just get worse if verbalisation of thoughts is something that will end up hurting someone eventualy..
wat are we?? the thought police???

dooodh ka jala chach bhi phoonk phoonk kar pita hai.....

नन्हे जिस्मों के टुकड़े लिए खड़ी है एक माँ..

एक तू ही भरोसा... एक तू ही सहारा...
इस तेरे जहाँ में॥ नहीं कोई हमारा॥
हे इश्वर, या अल्लाह॥ यह पुकार सुन ले॥ हे इश्वर या अल्लाह हें दाता॥

नादाँ हैं हम तो मालिक॥ क्यूँ दी हमें यह सज़ा
यहाँ है सभी के दिल में नफरत का ज़हर भरा॥
इन्हें फिर से याद दिला दे सबक वही प्यार का...
बन जाए गुलशन फिर से काँटों भरी दुनिया...

watch over thy children dear lord..

what is wrong with the world???? terrorists are spraying bullets and tossing grenades into hotels and hospitals... senior policemen are dying and no one seems to know what to do aboout those damned bastards who're killing ppl left right and centre...
now the hindi channels are showing soemthing about a vessel that was caught by the navy and randomly tossing out terrorists' passwords.. what kind of heartless desperate sickos shoot hapless children and old ppl in hotel lobbies???

and people are making jokes about how the terrorists got to the port coz the coast guard were too busy watching the India england match to see what was goin on on the seas....

इश्वर अल्लाह... तेरे जहाँ में.. नफरत क्यूँ है.. जंग है क्यूँ....
तेरा दिल तो इतना बड़ा है.. इंसान का दिल... तंग है क्यूँ....
कदम कदम पर सरहद क्यूँ है ...सारी ज़मीं जो तेरी है
सूरज के जो फेरे करती... फिर क्यूँ इतनी अँधेरी है॥
इस दुनिया के दामन पर इंसान के लहू का रंग है क्यूँ...

ramblings of a lone reporter... India Gate at night

Random nighttime shots of India Gate... the place is soooooo dreamy on a winter evening... these were all taken today between 6 and 7 p.m.. I took a lovely long walk down Rajpath following the path that the republic day parade takes...
Consumed: 1 papad ( love the ones here), a plastic cupful of tea and a cup of Kwality's Vanilla ice cream... i didn't know they've started putting bits of what tasted like chocolate spongecake in it... it was soooooo nice.. and.. a little packet of roasted chanas n meethi kheel.... yum...

can't believe a walk alone that late in the evening could be so much fun..

pictures... taken all over the place..

hm.... i havent put these in any particular order.. but ive described wat they are....
n i want comments from you guys...


well... this pic doesnt seem to get rotated... but its a sunset at rajghat...

experimenting with the exposure time on the camera...

people getting on the metro... exposure time set to X2 of normal.. dont really know how the settings work.. but i like the effect.. n yes thats a foot.. n a couple of people's legs in teh foreground..

smoke coming from the fire at National School of Drama on 19th nov

the NSD office after the fire was put out...

sunset at Rajghat...

a rather blurred view of the burnt NSD office.... the light is from a high intensity torch that the police guys were carrying..