Thursday, September 29, 2011


I dreamed of you last night
of promises made, and broken
of tears and lashing guilt
of a past that would never go away

i dreamed
of second chances given hundred times
of pain suffocated laughter
of unbridgeable chasms

of nightmares running in circles
of monsters chased
of cuts that throbbed
and pain that stayed

i dreamed
of a mirror i couldn't meet
of things unsayable

i dreamed of you last night
and in my dream
we came awake......

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

take a walk at dusk and this is the worst that can happen...

i have to leave this place
the walls, the stones, the trees, all so achingly familiar and just as painfully a trap.. this is where i'm left every single night after the day is done.. after the work is over, its time for everyone to go home and for me to return to this beautiful cage where memories live

some say i'm crazy to want to leave... its the most beautiful place.. full of magic, softness, stillness, memories... a place where i belong...
and yet it is the place i feel the most alone.. where things are always as they "were".. there's no 'are' or 'will be'

Monday, September 26, 2011

go back to your roots, find what makes you happy

it hit me yesterday while walking down that familiar, seldom used road.. how much i've left behind, how much of ME i've lost... strains of melodies on the wind tug me back to a happier person and a calmer life which went away with childhood games..

you were right... once you know what it is that you're missing you miss it all the more.. when you don't know quite what it is, atleast that aching emptiness is still formless and vague.. it can easily be put away for more important things.. knowing what is wrong makes you restless till you can actually have what you're missing.

we have got to have those songs back in our lives...

Sunday, September 18, 2011

jo bhi chaahe tu woh ban jaave

so i finally heard this song today... and these lyrics have made me fall in love with it!!

Tu hawa paani, aag hai
tu daga daani daag hai
jo bhi chaahe tu woh ban jaave re..

hai bana mera dil khuda 
hai khuda kab mujhse juda
khud ko dhoonde to usko paave re

the video is a bit weird coz katrina kaif does not look comfortable on the stage or with a guitar but i love her makeup and the overall look..
guess i will go watch this move after all.. if only for the music and sheer silliness of it... i need a funny movie to watch

Saturday, September 17, 2011

Break up season?

“we’re just not compatible”, “we fight so much, how can we work things out”, “this is not going to work out ya.. we have got to break up”
I’m hearing these sentences with alarming regularity these days… is it Break up season???

Somehow I’m playing agony aunt to people I never thought I would be having heartfelt conversations with… a friend’s girlfriend called me to tell me why they broke up and why it’s the best plan. A very close friend is trying to get rid of a guy who is rapidly turning into a stereotypical “crazy ex”... my favorite couple seem to be under major strains, and other assorted couples I know are not exactly as happy happy joy joy as I’m used to seeing them..  Couples all around seem to be having a hard time…
And for a change these days the AB and I have actually been having rational, grownup conversations… sure the rationality also told us that being a couple was the worst idea ever but atleast we did it after a hug and a sane conversation instead of a shouting match like all the other times we’ve gone down this road…

Seriously… is it breakup season??
I thought the monsoons were supposed to be this awesomely romantic time n all that jazz.. the long walks in the rain, the tea and conversation while the water pours against the windows, the long drives, cuddling up against the thunder and lightning… I know movie romances don’t really translate to reality but this is getting ridiculous…

Maybe its so messed up coz we're all trying to find happily ever afters outside of disney movies.. :(