Saturday, November 28, 2009


Anticipation sent a shiver trough my body as another red circle joined the others around my wrist… they now went halfway up my arm.. The dark red in sharp contrast with the white… the red sparkled.. the white subdued..

how many over the ages had looked down to this sight and known that life as they knew it was gone???

I could hear what seemed like a hundred voices outside my closed door… talking, laughing... celebrating… I still wasn’t sure if it was happiness or sadness that enveloped me… the anticipation was turning into something sharp… I couldn’t identify if it was pain or pleasure…

I hoped no one would come inside.. but then maybe someone would…. I didn't think I was ready to face the exclamations, the advice, the comments.. but the attention might be nice…

I took another look through the mirror at the room behind me.. awash in colour, clothes and knickknacks.. I wanted to remember this.. keep it safe in my memory no matter where I went next…

The mirror showed a girl who looked nervous and scared.. quite unlike the confident woman I had wanted desperately to be..

I looked down at my arm again… the glittering circles seemed to shimmer brighter in the tear- induced haze.. seemed to grow bigger… I sighed and closed my eyes.. leaned back in my chair and positioned my arm carefully over the box by my side..

listening to the distant drumbeat of the dripping drops..

I hope it fills up neatly and doesn’t spill over… don’t want anyone to have to clean up too many bloodstains…

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

plzz excuse... exams chal rahe hain...

You know you’ve been studying a tad too much when a conversation between friends about boyfriends turns into a discussion on void contracts and fundamental rights….

This conversation happened between Rave, a dear friend from law fac (obviously) and me just today… couldn’t help sharing it..

R: so… how is your bf??

Me: bf? I don’t have one dude..

R: ohho… that ex of yours.. I know you were talking to him..

M: so what.. I can talk to him if I want.. just coz we’re not dating doesn’t mean we’re not friends..

R: tell you what.. I’m making you an offer right now.. I’ll give you 20 bucks for each day if you don’t talk to him for a month..

M: hey… I don’t accept the offer dude.. in any case.. its not an agreement.... that’s void ab initio..

R: why would it be?? It’s a valid offer.. it even has consideration.. 20 bucks a day..

M: no.. its an agreement in restriction of my fundamental rights.. you cannot sign away fundamental rights bro… not only is the agreement void ab initio.. you can get thrown behind bars for violating my fundamental rights of speech and association.

R: no I wont be.. it is for your welfare.. thats allowed.. it is possible to put a reasonable restriction on fundamental rights.. even th judge will uphold that one..

M: yeah sure.. if you’re the legislature you can make such a law.. IF you can justify the restriction.. yahan there’s no justification..

R: sure there is… customary law… remember.. you DON’T talk to ex boyfriends.. thats customary law..

M: customary law is invalid if it is violative of fundamental rights or of any legislation in force or is unreasonable… KAL ILS ka paper diya hai remember…

R: you’re crazy u know that

M: yeah I know.. but I also know this stuff better than you do,… so don’t argue law with me…

Saturday, November 21, 2009

blood sugar sex magic

It was rather silly as conversations go… but it threw up a certain point that left me wondering…

Last night I had a conversation with an old friend whose been acting a little weird for a while… I was getting worried bout the mental condition of said friend who, although has been declared certifiably insane by my opinion a number of times... had lately been behaving in a manner that made me wonder if a trip to the much abused hospital in shahadara was actually required..

Well… after a lot of cajoling and “you know I won’t judge you”ing on my part the truth was revealed… what my friend was suffering from was, put plainly a bad case of sexual frustration… to put it in an even plainer manner… sheer frustration at the lack of a sex life..

Predictably, my reaction to that little revelation was a rather loud giggle… and a “oh my god you did not just say that…”

Then I stopped laughing... and started thinking..

Does the “lack thereof” really affect your mood and behaviour?????

Do men and women react differently to this deprivation? Coz this friend is a guy.. and I don’t agree with his hypothesis that the “lack” and the resulting frustration gets you down..

I mean… sure… lack of physical activity and excitement can very well get your dopamine levels down and get you feeling low… but downright depressed???????

Or is it not just the sex but all the attendant romance and relationship.. or the lack thereof that really gets you down?

I mean… in most bio books.. air, water and food are accompanied by sex in the “Must Get to Survive” list…