Tuesday, September 29, 2009

what is it like when your nurse falls ill??

“I’m bored.. I don’t want to lie down anymore”
“you sat up for quite a while this morning ma.. just lie down right now..”
“I feel fine..” she starts to turn..
“ow”
.
.

2 hours later..
“I’ve had it.. I’m getting up now…”
“you’re going to feel even worse if you get up.. just relax in bed!”
“but I’m bored..”
“so read a book”
“I can’t read.. it gives me a headache”
“okay come and watch TV”
“its those ridiculous saas bahu rona dhonas all the time.. there’s nothing to watch on tv”

I switch on my music but my choice of songs annoys her
“don’t you have any hindi songs of the kind I would listen to??”
.
.

5 minutes later, she’s sitting up again..

“I’m going to take a short walk around the house”
Her Older sis(OS) jumps in at this point.. “will u just shut up and lie down.. The doctor told you to stay in bed for two weeks!”
.
.

I look around from the stove to see her standing in the kitchen door
“what are you doing?”
“why did u walk all the way here? You should have just rung the bell and I’d come”
“I was tired of lying down.. what are you making?”
“nothing really… paneer for your snack”
“I don’t want paneer… give me a knife and fork, I’ll cut an apple”
“you really shouldn’t sit on the dining room chair.. it’s not healthy for you”
“I don’t care… feel fine... now just get me the knife and plate. Cutting an apple is not too much work”

“ow”
“I TOLD you not to sit in this straight chair mom.. now come lie down..”

“but I’m so bored…….”


she had a surgery last week.. been home for two days..
mothers are IMPOSSIBLE to mother..

Thursday, September 17, 2009

the law of attraction

YES i truly am this vella and YES i CAN get this obsessed with a project... so what started as a joke with friends to draft the legislative provsions of the law of attraction is now a full fledged, 5 page work tht i've spent most of today on.. and YES OFCOURSE i want comments!!! from people who have studied law and those who havent, from those who have had crushes and those who havent PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE comment on this post.
FYI.. YES I REALLY WROTE ALL OF THIS BY MYSELF.. and NO you are NOT allowed to make fun of it coz its all true.
P.s. the idea of this legislation came from the SPIL form that i have as yet NOT filled.. n deadline's tomorrow..
THE HUMAN ATTRACTION (INITIAL PREFERENCE) ACT 2009
(987654321 of 2009)
(17th September 2009)
PREAMBLE Where it is expedient to amend and codify the law relating to preliminary attraction among humans.
BE IT ENACTED by the senses of human society in the year 2009 AD of human existence as follows

PRELIMINARY

1. Short title, extent and commencement. - (1) this act may be called the Human Attraction (Initial Preference) Act, 2009.
(2) It extends to the whole of humanity including those existing the territory of storybook romance.
Explanation: This act only applies to mental phenomena of attraction amongst humans. Actual formation of the relationship whether physical, emotional or social do not come under the purview of this act but are regulated by various other legislations including the Societal Rules and Etiquettes Act and the Parental Authorities acts.
2. Application of Act. – (1)This act applies to any human being
(a) who has attained the age of puberty; or
(b) any person, male or female who is mentally capable of forming infatuatory relationship with another person.
( c) who is not suffering from mental unsoundness produced by the phenomena commonly known as “Cupid’s Arrow.”
3. Definitions.- In this act, unless the context otherwise requires,-
(a) “the person” refers to the infatuor or subject i.e. the male or female who forms such infatuation as defined by the Act;
(b) ‘the male’, or ‘the female’ unless otherwise specified refer to the infatuee or object of such infatuation;
(c) ‘Parental Authority’ or ‘societal authority’ refers to the progenitors of the subject or object of infatuation and the social group that the parental authorities belong to respectively;
(d) ‘intellectual capacity’ implies the capacity of ‘the male’ or ‘the female’ to learn and make judgments. It also includes capacity to conduct rational and/or humorous conversation. ‘mental capacity’ refers to the ability of the object to understand that it would be prudent to give the subject a position of authority.
(e) ‘relationship’ under the purview of the act refers to a future sexual and/or emotional relationship.
Saving: The object of the infatuation may be of the same or the opposite sex to the infatuor. The terms ‘the male’ and ‘the female’ are used as general terms for legislative convenience.
4. Overriding effect of the Act.- Save as expressly provided in the Act any theory or rule of attraction propounded in movies, romance novels self help books or psychology manuals shall cease to have effect with respect to any matter for which provision is made in the Act.

PART I
GENERAL PROVISIONS
CHAPTER I
OF FEMALE INFATUATION

This chapter applies solely to the female part of the human species. The rules pertaining to male humans shall be dealt with in chapter II of the Act.

5. Definitions:
(1)‘the female’ in the following sections refers to the specific infatuor or subject of the infatuation as discussed herein.
(2)’other female’ under these sections refers to any other female that ‘the male’ finds or may find attractive.

6. Specific attributes: the female may find a male of the same species attractive if the said male possesses acceptable physical attributes, and/or is economically sound and/or is intellectually and mentally eligible.

7.Physical attributes defined: physical features that signify excellent capability to copulate defined by attributes such as height/weight ratio and/or musculature.
(1) in particular and without prejudice to the aforementioned conditions, dark complexion, height and conformity to accepted idea of good facial and bodily features is an essential criteria in situations where the intellectual and economic aptitude of the male is unknown.
(2) personal grooming, including clothing, hygiene and hairstyle of the male must conform to the standards set by the female.
Saving: in case the object of the infatuation is a female, section 7(1) stands voided.

8. Economic attributes defined: in situations where assessment of physical attributes is impractical or impossible due to absence of visual contact, parental interference or deemed unlawful by societal authority, the economic capabilities of the male shall overrule the provision of Section 7. The following economic criteria may then be applied-
(1) motor vehicle: the type and cost of motor vehicle driven by the male
(2) habitat: this includes the living space as well as profession of the male
(3) currency notes or negotiable instruments under the control of the male
Explanation: the mental capacity of male to accept the right of female to make use of the aforementioned items as and when required is necessary for the application of this section.

9. Intellectual attributes: the female may, in certain situations attribute attractiveness to the voice, mannerisms or intellectual capacity of the male
Explanation I: this provision may be applied in situations wherein the physical and/or economic attributes are equal to those of other males in the vicinity and selection must be based on factors of intellectual aptitude.
Explanation II: This provision may also be applied in situations where the male is not viewable by the female and contact between the two is by telephone, internet or letters.
SCOPE: this provision is applied in rare situations wherein the choice of the female is either extremely limited due to lack of eligible males or made difficult due to presence of more than the optimum number of eligible males.

10. Peer influence: the attractiveness of the object for the female may also be in certain cases proportional to the extent of approval and attraction exhibited by other competing females towards the male.
CHAPTER II
OF MALE INFATUATION

11. Definitions.- (a)‘the male’ in this chapter refers to the infatuor or person forming the infatuation;
(b) ‘the female’ in the chapter refers to the specific female of the species on whom the infatuation rests. If the object of the infatuation is a male member of the species, sections 7, 8 and 9 of the act may be applied.

12. general attributes:- a male may find a female attractive if such female possesses certain physical attributes. In specific situations, certain economic or intellectual attributes may also be applicable.

13. Physical attributes defined:- a male may find a female attractive if she possesses physical attributes capable of stimulation of the male libido as defined by the Fashion Police Act.
(1) the female may possess a body type defined under the Fashion Police Act as the ‘hourglass figure” or approximate proportion; or
(2) possession of features defined as “pouty lips”, or enhanced mammary or gluteous tissue; or
(3) proportion of amount of clothing worn by the female to the skin of said female is 1/3 or greater; or
(4) the clothing worn by the female accentuates the shape or size of the mammary or gluteus tissue.
Saving: the personal grooming exhibited by the female in form of clothing choice, makeup and accessories are also part of the required physical attributes though not an essential requirement.

14. mental capacity defined.- in case the physical attributes of the female are unknown due to restrictions imposed by parental or societal authorities the mental capacity of the female, as defined under the general provisions of the act may be applicable.
15. economic attributes defined.- the economic capacity of the female and/ or her parental authority to provide the requirements listed under the subsections of section 8 are applicable in situations where the requirements of section 13 are not met.


PART II
COMPOSITION OF ARBITRAL TRIBUNAL
CHAPTER III

16. WHEN DETERMINATION OF ELIGIBILITY DEPENDS ON THE OPINION OF OUTSIDE PARTY: in cases wherein the infatuor is unable to find eligible object or must decide to take action with respect to the infatuation, authorization of such action may be done by
(1)peer group: friends of the infatuor may act as authorities to decide the question of eligibility. The number of friends who may be appointed as arbitrators may be determined by the infatuor.
(2) parental authority: parental authority may enforce special right of adjudication with respect to the choices of the infatuor under the overriding provisions of the Parental Authority Act.
Explanation: this section can only be applicable when the infatuatuor is intent upon making contact with the infatuee. The simple mental state of attraction does not come under the provision of this section.


CHAPTER IV
OF VOIDABILITY OF ATTRACTION AND PUNISHMENTS

17. Voidability of attraction.- if the subject of the attraction does not form similar infatuation with eth male or female, it would be incumbent on the infatuor to withdraw such infatuation. The attraction is voidable in cases where acceptance of infatuation is delayed or denied.

18. Punishment for continuation of attraction declared void.- once the infatuee has denied the attraction continuation of the feelings of attraction may entail mental and physical anguish.
(1) the male or female may have to undergo bouts of tears or emotional pain; or
(2) if the object of attraction is already bonded with a different male or female, physical or verbal attacks on the person of the infatuee may be made.

Friday, September 11, 2009

rambling tag

okay so i'm sitting at a freind's place lazing around and thought i'd answer a tag quiz she'd put on her blog ages ago... so here goes

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.
RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by continue this game by sending it to other people

1. If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
A. Talk things through.. see if we can salvage things.. n if things seem shaky or i think he's gonna do it again.. boot him out..

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
A. hm... the pulitzer with my name on it.. or a mention on the top of the new york bestseller list.. :)

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
A. anyone who annoys me... i dont hesitate with kicks

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
A. buy a lamborghini, a superbike for myself n my brothers, a few fun gadgets, a house on a lake for dad.. with wats left i'd keep half n donate the rest to charity..

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
A. yes.. to quote a rather cheesy dialogue by SRK.. love isnt anything without friendship.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
A. Being loved by someone you love
7. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
A. as long as i need to without destroying my life in the process..

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
A. wait.. i dont hit on attached guys.. n if he wants to be with me he'd come to me himself.
9. If you'd like to act with someone, who would it be? Your gf/bf or an actor?
A. An actor for sure, the whole point of acting is to get away from real life! Top 2 choices would be Hugh Jackman or ryan reynolds.
10. What takes you down the fastest?
A. my own thoughts
11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
A. on stage accepting the pulitzer...
12. What's your fear?
A. Losing my faith
13. What is your secret vice?
A. classic ultra milds
14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
A. Married but poor.
15. Whats the first thing you do when you wake up?
A. debate whether to throw the ringing phone away..
16. Would you give all in a relationship?
A. yes
17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
A. the one who i can talk to about the dilemma
18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing someone has done?
A. forgive yes.. forget no.
19. Do you prefer being single or in a relationship?
A. single

I TAG ANYONE WHO READS THIS ENTRY TILL THE END.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

on the line....

"I'm sorry sweetheart.. please.. please give us another chance... i love you.. i won't survive a day without hearing your voice.."
she just looked at him as his voice trailed off.. he was hyperaware of everything around them suddenly.. the hushed voices of other people in the room, his own thundering heartbeat.. the absolute nonexpression on her face.. she simply looked at him..
"i'd die if i'm rejected now.. who will ever take me seriously if she doesnt accept me now???" his thoughts were bordering on panic at the sheer nonresponsiveness of her reaction..
she simply looked at him.. lost in thought..
he didnt move an inch.. his knees were trembling.. almost giving out.. should he have gotten down on his knees to beg?? he suddenly thought.. maybe she wanted to see total surrender.. it would've been dramatic to say the least... maybe too dramatic.. he steeled himself as he brought his eyes back to her face... waiting for some change in her expression..

slowly her hands twitched as if involuntarily.. her arms rose away from her sides.. was she...???? he was hoping with everything he had now.. taking half a step towards her as her arms rose higher... did she step towards him?? his thoughts were all aflutter at the sight of the smile on her face...
his numbed mind registered what sounded like cheers in the background..
her lips parted...

"bravo!!! that was amazing! thats it.. YOU get the lead in my play!!"
her applause joined that of the gathered audience...

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

another mention of my 'twilight' obsession

i have a habit of visualising the charecters of any book i read.. specially teh ones i'm really really fond of (read obsessed about)
so naturally... like just about every other girl who entertained fantasies bout the 'perfect' vampire boyfriend. i visualised Edward Cullen... (*swoon*)

except that the guy who actualy played him in the movie is SO not like my fantasy edward... so i was like.. blehhh
BUT
today.. while indulging yet another sudden obsession.. i stumbled on THE guy who could play edward in my head... the actor/model who plays romeo in the Taylor Swift song 'love story'.. the title of the post is a link to the youtube video of the song...

btw... the "sudden obsession' aforementioned is this song... love story- Taylor Swift... heard it on the radio this morning and promptly fell in love with it.. its soooo sweet... its like a teenager's take on romeo and juliet.. the video showed me my dream edward.. the song itself gave me a whole morning of singing and skipping.... coz by some grace of god a friend had the song on her cell n happily gave it to me via bluetooth.. (i LOVE my phone!)

i've lost count of how many times ive heard it over n over n over again today...
so.. all in all.. a good day.. two obsessions taken care of... :)

taylor swift- white horse

say you're sorry
that face of an angel
comes out just when you need it to
As i paced back and forth all this time
cause i honestly believed in you
holding on
the days drag on
stupid girl
i should have known, i should have known

that i'm not a princess, this aint a small town
i'm not theone you'll sweep off her feet.
lead her up the stairwell
This ain't hollywood, this is a small town
i was a dreamer before you went and let me down
now its too late for you
and your white horse to come around

maybe i was naive
got lost in your eyes
and never really had a chance
my mistake,
i didnt know to be in love you had to fight to have the upper hand
i had so many dreams about you and me
happy endings
now i know

I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairytale
i'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet
lead her up the stairwell
this aint hollywood this is a small town
i was a dreamer before you went and let me down
now its too late for you and your white horse to come around

and there you are on your knees
begging for forgiveness, begging for me
just like i always wanted but i'm soo sorry

cause i'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
i'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
this is a big world, that was a small town
there in my rearview mirror disappearing now
and its too late for you and your white horse
now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now.....

Monday, September 07, 2009

WAY BACK INTO LOVE- Music & Lyrics

I've been living with a shadow overhead
i've been sleeping with a cloud above my bed
i've been lonely for so long
trapped in the past i just can't seem to move on..

i've been hiding all my hopes and dreams away
just incase i ever need 'em again some day
I've been setting aside time
to clear a little space in the corners of my mind

All I wanna do is find a way back into love
I can't make it through without a way back into love

I've been watching but te stars refuse to shine
i've been searching but i just dont see the signs
i know that its out there
there's gotta be something for my soul somewhere

i've ben looking for someone to shed some light
not somebody just to get me through the night
i could use some directions
and i'm open to your suggestions

all i wanna do is find a way back into love
i cant make it through without a way back into love
and if i open my heart again
i guess i'm hoping you'll be there for me in the end

there are moments when i dont know if its real
or if anybody feels the way i feel
i need inspiration
not just another negotiation

i know its probably the soppiest movie that i've seen in a while.. but there's sopmething amazing bout the way this love story develops... Music & lyrics.. its bout how two people can help each other out of their shells, how they can make the other person believe in him/her self again.. how tehy can fill the spaces in each others lives...
and most of all.. its about recognising where your strengths and failings are and how the otehr person can help you through the tough times..

and how you need to show someone that you really care about them.. specially when they feel let down...
sometimes you just put yourself on the line.. if only to show the other person that you want them to know what they mean to you...